Cargo Shorts Useful. Yes. Practical. Sure. Awful. You betcha. Give me a utilitarian article of clothing anyday of the week, but there's a time and a place for a multi-pocketed cargo short. And that time is called hiking outdoors or robbing a 7-Eleven.

Crocs You know who looks cute in Crocs? Toddlers. But then again, toddlers can pull off anything -- jumpers, cuddly animals...Harajuku girl. Anyone who can drink without the use of a sippy cup, however, should put on a real shoe.

Ed Hardy Anything I've always been a fan of a statement outfit, but some statements just don't need to be made. Especially since it's so hard to ignore whatever an Ed Hardy article is saying since it's so loud and obnoxious.

Fanny Packs I'm actually guilty of this particular offense, but granted my fanny packs are sequined and/or leopard-print. And as everyone knows, a sequin or leopard print can save any tragedy.

Ironic T-shirts Irony died a slow and painful death after being beaten to death by hipsters about five years ago and the ironic T-shirt is a reminder of those heroin-induced halcyon days when genuine sentiment was still a thing.

Juicy Couture Tracksuits Los Angeles-based brand Juicy Couture has more or less ruined the word "couture" for everyone. To clarify, couture means one-of-a-kind and custom-made. Juicy Couture means "I don't care what I look like when I step outside of my house."

Platform Sneakers Heels for the athletic gal on the run? If you insist on a little height to your trainers, class it up with an always appropriate sneaker heel.

Popcorn Shirts I had never even heard of these shirts until writing this post but I was both intrigued and horrified by the discovery. Sometimes ignorance is bliss.

Trucker Hats Also known as shorthand for "I'm a douche who will ruin your credit and probably your life."

Uggs Rising to prominence in Australia and New Zealand in the 1970s thanks to those fashionable wave-riders  otherwise known as surfers, the most activity an Ugg sees this day is a hungover trip to the mall.

What can now be classified as the “Old School” Ed Hardy, Von Dutch paved the way for douche bag promoting companies around the world. The hats were so ridiculously and obnoxiously over done that they were almost the perfect recipe for vomit. They had “cool” clashing colors and fabrics, and in no way looked good on your head. Ashton Kutcher was the Von Dutch master, and single handedly allowed the douche bag to feel comfortable outside the confines of his frat house, thus allowing them to spread their douche bag seed at beer pong playing dive bars across the nation.

Once in a blue moon you may actually see one of these post-college, homo-erotic d-bags playing grab ass with his “bros” in Hoboken, rocking a Von Dutch hat because an Ed Hardy hat would be his fifth Ed Hardy piece in one outfit, and even that’s too much for him. The best part of this whole concept is that the dude totally had to style his hair before he put the hat on though in case of an emergency.

Von Dutch, a pioneer in the douche bag industry since 2000.

Thanks Flickr for the images.

“Yes, just sign on my SMET shirt and we will own your soul  collaborate on an upcoming collection”

Britney Spears seems to have not spent enough time in the loony bin cause now the singer/wannabe actress thinks she can be a designer!!! Worse than that, rumors are speculating on truthiness worth STAR magazine that the pop fart will be collaborating with non other than seventh son of Satan designer Christian Audigier of Von Dutch, Ed Hardy, Smet, and Christian Audigier fame.

“I have known Britney for a long time — she is a good friend of mine,” Audigier tells Star. “We’re talking about working together, designing a line of clothing.”

Britney visited the designer in hell (Ed Hardy’s corporate offices in Culver City, California) on Thursday to meet with Audigier and while she was there she picked out some Ed Hardy duds she liked, which was pretty much the entire collection since trailer trash and the mentally disabled are the only ones who seem to love his shit.

“Britney came in to talk with Christian about working on a line together,” Ed Hardy’s Marissa McMillion tells Star. She then became filled with the spirit of Beelzebub, speaking in tongues, and wishing for an outfit that would make her look a thousand times worse than Anna Nichole Smith looks right now in her rotting grave.  Fortunately, Christian had just the outfit in his Spring collection…