All Entries Tagged With: "williamsburg"

I Fucking Hate Nappers

Their rhymes are weak. Their style sucks. And they can’t dance for shit.

Why are they becoming popular?

Oh, yeah cause people are fucking stupid and easily fall for a gimmick.

The Jazzy Jeff/Pre-Million Dollar Movie Deal Will Smith look was never cool. These guys haven’t even attempted to make the look interesting by updating it. It looks like they just watched a full season of the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air and photocopied everything they saw. You’re not the new hipster, you’re not even close to being a blipster and I refuse to consider your shitty attempt to rehash the 90’s it’s own style category other than Napper (Nerd + Rapper = Nappers) because you are seriously putting us all to sleep. What’s so annoying is that this was purposely started. I’m sure it was a conversation at some Billyburg Salvation Army that got these boys talking about wearing 90’s retro wear and now they’re doing it and stinking up the streets with their visual vomit endouching style.

I’m starting to miss the good old days of rap, when cocaine and heroine dealers like Jay Z and Biggie Smalls ran the streets of Brooklyn. Now with all the white kids moving in we get vanilla flavored attempt at gansta.

So let it be known far and wide. The Retro Kids = Nappers. Kids that dress like they tripped into Kid n Play’s closet = Nappers. The Fresh Prince’s of Brooklyn = Nappers.

And I fucking hate Nappers.

Built By Wendy Sample Sale

All weekend at the Williamsburg location, get some good deals on past season items from Built by Wendy for 50%-80% off.

Friday, Oct 3, 11am-8pm

Saturday, Oct 4, 11am-8pm

Sunday, Oct 5, 12pm-6pm

Indies to Watch: The Black Keys

I LOVE THE BLACK KEYS. The psychedelic duo encompass soul, rock and folk. Though it sounds like a rough musical experiment, the Black Keys have mastered their multifaceted funky style. Their producer D.J “Danger Mouse”, also known as the counterpart to Gnarles Barkley, has ensured once again added his Midas touch to this collection of quality music. I am enamored with DangerMouse, so subsequently checked out The Black Keys. Each song has a distinct sound yet The Black Keys maintain a quirky continuity.

I basically drool over The Keys. The single thing I love most is their originality. Lately, artists have put themselves in a box, so it is hard to find a musical talent who takes risks. This band has filled my void. The Ohio natives enable easy listening. Simply, The Black Keys are wonderfully unpredictable. The Keys took a slight hiatus but thankfully have returned. Attack and Release is their newest album. The newest cuts are better than ever.

If not, Check out ”Psychotic Girl” and “Strange Times.” You’ll get hooked. Trust me. 

Hipsters + Acid Trip Videos + Cheap Special Effects + Shamu = Seizures

natalie portman’s shaved head - sophisticated side ponytail from thatgo on Vimeo.

This is the reason why hipsters can’t rule the world. When your band’s name is Natalie Portman’s Shaved Head you have no excuse why you shouldn’t be mocked mercifully. The song “Sophisticated Side Ponytail” is a true hipster gem. The cheap computer work that could be done with any Adobe program, and the unecessary amount of American Apparel spandex are the two tell tail signs of hipster destruction. I pray that this song never makes it out of Williamsburg. Who raps about Shamu anyways?

The Official Soap of Hipsters

The official beer of Williamsburg (sorry Brooklyn Brew) has been made into soap.  It seems someone discovered how fresh their skin felt after a night of binge drinking when they woke up in a cheap puddle of barfed up Pabst Blue Ribbon.  The soap is available on Etsy and is by far the last thing I would ever want to bathe in, but hell, it would make a great gag/intervention gift for that special someone in your life who still hasn’t discovered their tolerance level.

You can find Beer Soap here for $4.75 a bar.