Exorcising The Crap Out Of New Jersey partner

Edited by Abe Gurko, IMeanWhat.com

These two Jersey creatures are the Grossest of Gross Baboons.

Announcing the newest candidates for Gross Baboon of the Year Award, Real Housewives of New Jersey, Teresa and Joe Guidice. Reading about their spendaholic, bankruptcy-inducing shenanigans made me really angry. As someone born in that fair state, the recent bevvy of Gross Baboons with New Jersey blazoned on their foreheads is enough to make anyone lie about where they hail from. We now have The Real Housewives, that lame show Jeseylicious, and even the cast of Jersey Shore, though none of them are from there, but MTV has managed to muck it up anyway. Until recently, it was Woody Allen who had make it difficult to admit that I was originally from there. Here is an excerpt from my book explaining why that is:

In Sleeper, Woody Allen pokes fun at people from New Jersey.

LAST FIVE MINUTES OF FAME

I will never forgive Woody Allen. No, not for what he did to Mia Farrow by taking Soon Yi, her adopted daughter, as his lover and then, wife. That transgression was much easier for me to excuse compared to what Woody Allen did to me, personally, being a resident from the state of New Jersey. Let me explain. Back in the 1970’s, Woody Allen made movies people actually went to see. His classics like Sleeper, Play It Again Sam and Everything You Wanted To Know About Sex were brilliant, however, these films contained condescending (and yes, perhaps humorous) references to my home state. These scathing digs made audiences howl with laughter, and he ingrained into pop culture the notion that people from “New Joisey” were disadvantaged. Sitting there in the dark sold-out Baronet-Coronet theater, I would slink down deep into the burgundy, polyester, uncomfortable seat, covering my head with the large tub of extra buttered popcorn as though a flashing neon arrow identified me as the lone resident from that sad little state. Seething, I vowed to get my revenge on Woody Allen one day. He’d made it so that I wished I had never heard of New Jersey, let alone being a resident. This surely was a conundrum. How was I going to achieve greatness along the lines of Bette Davis, Spencer Tracy or Mahatma Gandhi? How was I going to become a member of the fabulii? Once they discovered where I was from, was my membership to the fabulii at risk of being canceled? (Sigh.) Somehow, someway, I was determined to wiggle my five foot-by-five foot frame into the pop culture vernacular and once there…happily crush Mr. Allen like a bug.

To be continued….

Back to The Guidos, I mean, Giudices. According to the New York Post, they earn $79,000 a year, however, they live in a multi-million dollar home and are hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt on credit cards. According to court papers, they are eleven million dollars in the hole. $11,000,000?!? How does that even happen? Both them and their banker should be pussy whipped. Well, Joe must be already, so we can just bitch slap her and the banker. The excesses of the 90’s and 2000’s is long over. And seeing the residual effect of that time is enough to make my skin crawl. It is the selfishness, greed and pretense of the Giudices that is systemically wrong with our culture. How are these people going to keep up with the Jones’ of their own mind? Hence…nominees for Gross Baboon of the Year Award.

VIEW ORIGINAL POST:Exorcising The Crap Out Of New Jersey

Dazed and Confused Franken-Fashion Issue

Edited by FashionIndie

Taking inspiration from throwaway materials and Frankenstein’s legendary monster, Dazed & Confused this month presents its ‘Franken-Fashion’ masks project… a unique creative collaboration with some of the world’s top designers, including such names as Alexander McQueen, Gareth Pugh, Martin Margiela, Hussein Chalayan, Roberto Cavalli, Jean-Charles de Castelbajac and Riccardo Tisci.

TRENDSPARK: Timeless Androgyny

Edited by Kirby Marzec

It wasn’t until I was saw Mikael Jansson’s spread for Vogue Paris September 2009 that I realized what my favorite fall trend is: timeless androgyny. Inspired by Diane Keaton’s role as Annie Hall, Jansson’s spread features model Anna Jagodzinska dressed in an array of androgynous 70′s menswear. While the androgyny trend is a few seasons running, I love the simple, professional and somewhat preppy feel of this trendy throwback. But remember ladies, keep the hair and makeup feminine and simple to avoid the butch/costume/tranny look!

GALLERY: SPREAD UM: “Diane K” Vogue Paris September 2009

Thanks Fashion Gone Rogue!

Highest Paid Model in History: Woody Allen Recieves $5 Million

Edited by Rebecca Alexander

The lawsuit filed against American Apparel by Woody Allen was settle today, he will receive a 5 million dollar payment, which makes him the highest paid model in the industry.

The Dov Jokes About a Woody

Edited by Saynt

American Apparel has come up with an answer for why the Jew Yorker was featured on billboards for the sexually explicit brand, it was a joke.

The Daily News reports, “American Apparel is certainly not marketing their casual wear to Orthodox, black hat rabbis,” said the California company’s lawyer Stuart Slotnick.

The 72-year-old Allen says he never gave the company permission to use an image from the movie “Annie Hall” on billboards in Los Angeles and New York. The billboards have come down, but the image is on the Internet.

American Apparel says the billboards were meant as parody and therefore fair game for anyone to use.

Whether the lawsuit will continue is anyones guess but you’d think that Woody Allen would have a sense of humor. Besides most American Apparel shoppers have no idea who the fuck Allen is, they probably missed the joke completely and figured it was just some photo of a rabbi, not as funny I’m sure, but the comedy in imagining Allen being pissed at Dov is classic.

Source Daily News

Photo NY Mag

Jew Screws American Apparel

Edited by Saynt

Photo via Curbed LA

Hit & miss director Woody Allen seems to have some series problems with the Dov.  He doesn’t want his name, or face, associated with American Apparel and he’s none too pleased that the house that photos of half-naked sweaty, herpes victims built is using his image to hawk over priced tees. The company used an image from his 1977 film Annie Hall on a few of their billboards back in May and Woody recently filed suit seeking $10 million in damages, or the cumulative amount his films have made since Annie Hall.  Apparently, $30 t-shirts and neon lycra body suits are not kosher.