Joan Juliet Buck wears a unique blend of Yves Saint Laurent men’s perfume and Gerlain Shalimar together. And she always wears her father’s old watch.

Dripping in Bulgari earrings and necklace, Leviev ring, Graff diamond on the wrist, and a Louis Vuitton leather top, there are most likely 8 guards flanking her every corner, and have been photoshopped out.

For more deets on the ladies, see the WSJ.

Shot by the famed Mario Testino, her pristine bob and pitch-black sunglasses personify the power she clearly possesses.  What to say about the woman who dictates fashion? The profile inside features her business endeavors fashion related and beyond.  We can’t wait to get our hands on it.

Terrible or not (okay, terrible), everyone seems to hate Lindsay Lohan and Ungaro. Good thing it was just for publicity? Here’s what the big guns had to say about it:

1.) The Washington Post: “The collection was dominated by fuchsia. It included safety-orange ruched leggings, heart prints, genie pants and heart-shaped glittering pasties. It lacked finesse, sophistication, technical skill and any evidence of good taste. Everyone involved seemed in over their head — swept up in a giant publicity-spewing machine.”

2.) WSJ: “it was hard to imagine that Ms. Lohan and Archs could concoct a collection that is as cringe-worthy as this. Some models appeared on the runway with glittering heart-shaped pasties on their nipples, worn under blazers. Others wore the pasties on their foreheads. Highlights included hot pink streetwalker dresses, an unending hearts motif, and a skintight white mini dress so short that the model’s cheeks hung below the hemline.”

3.) Style.com: “This quickly devolved into a bad joke of a fashion show, one with questionable color combinations, “bad eighties” draped silk jackets and drop-crotch pants, old-fashioned and ill-judged fur stoles, and, yes, tasteless sequin pasties. To top it off, the fabrics and the construction lacked the finesse you expect from a famous Avenue Montaigne brand.”

4.) WWD: “As for the clothes, they looked cheesy and dated … Hot pink, orange and flashy, with an overworked heart motif relentless in its execution, the collection displayed none of the promised younger side Lohan was supposed to deliver. Nor in a million years would one guess that the lineup was designed by one young woman and “creative directed” by another. Glitter heart pasties all around, ladies?“

5.) The New York Times: “Ms. Lohan’s arrival at a 45-year-old Paris house known for $1,500 dresses and a tradition of couture craftsmanship is entirely different, something akin to a McDonald’s fry cook taking the reins of a three-star Michelin restaurant.”

LOL.

LINK LOVE: Racked

The May 2009 issue also cites her in the list of contributors, thereby giving models just a little more credit.

The spread, shot in Miami, features one-piece suits, which you can see in action in WSJ’s behind-the-scenes video.

GALLERY: Hilary Rhoda for WSJ.