Edited by Andy Wass

I wish I knew someone with the balls or bills to try this…
Zappos.com is selling a $50,000 limited-edition “Cease and Desist” T-shirt — with your purchase Zappos will permanently disable your significant other’s (“wife, husband, girlfriend, boyfriend, or ‘it’s complicated’”) Zappos.com account for life. And it’s available in five colors!
Other key points:
- A Zappos rep personally delivers the shirt and serves as “a shoulder to cry on for up to 1 hour for your significant other” as well as “frolic in a field of daisies with you or do anything that is mutually agreed upon to not be morally or ethically objectionable.” Additional time for consoling or celebrating is available at $3.99/minute or a barter.
- Zappos dismisses itself from liability “if your significant other creates or uses another account using a different email address.”
- A refund is available “only if you are permanently divorced or separated within 365 days.
All that, and 100% cotton.
Check out the rest of the hilarious disclaimers or buy at Zappos.