Ten Things That Andre Leon Tally Seems to Not Realize
There seems to be a disconnect between who Andre Leon Tally thinks he is and who Andre Lean Tally actually is. We’ve decided to clear up any confusion in hopes of bringing peace amongst the fashion set. Plus, it’s fun to make fun of people.
1. You aren’t Anna Wintour. You’re her bitch.
2. You make way too much money to have teeth like that. Seriously dude hire a dentist. There’s no reason why you should look like a backwater hick who got slapped in the face with a bag of bricks.
3. You have no fashion sense. Please stop attempting to “style” people. You offer nothing more than a series of “donts” and “oh my god, why, why would she wear that”.
4. Please, please stop with the fur capes. You look like a mess, not a tranny hot mess, but a mess, a serious mess.
5. Turbans are for terrorist. Yeah I said it. (Let the hate mail commence.)
6. Michelle Obama hates you. No really she does, she told me while we were making fun of your fat ass and garlic breath.
7. Only ten people actually know or care about who you are. Need proof. The fact that you needed to carry a sign with your name on it in Sex and the City. The fact that you wear jackets with your name on it. The fact that Vogue still calls security when you walk in unannounced.
8. You’re a blimp. Seriously dude, you look like you ate all the fat that Karl Lagerfeld lost.
9. Double breasted suits are for thin people, not people with double breasts.
10. You’re an inspiration to millions of young gay black men. Nah, totally joking. They all hate you for making them look bad.
About the Author: Founder and main dude at Fashion Indie, Daniel Saynt began his career in fashion at the tender age of 14, when he worked in the stockroom for some unnamed fashion whorehouse. His distaste for the mainstream quickly festered until he decided enough was enough, denouncing all mainstream fashion lines (unless the stuffs on sale or just down right irresistible or free, you can't say no to free).
Sarah | Jun 19, 2008 | Reply
I might have been able to forgive you for one fat joke, but this is really pushing the limits.
Daniel Saynt | Jun 19, 2008 | Reply
Totally agree. I am currently writing this post from hell.
Daniel Saynt | Jun 19, 2008 | Reply
Before anyone else posts anger, let me remind all that we are assholes. We realize this and we wear out asses on our sleeves.
Megan Zanke | Jun 19, 2008 | Reply
I find this extremely offensive. The most nauseating statement, funnily enough, contains a grammatical error.
Crystal | Jun 19, 2008 | Reply
Co-sign on #’s 1 & 3 but the rest I can’t get with, sorry. . .
trend de la creme | Jun 19, 2008 | Reply
LOL — did you and Andre Lean Tally get into a bar fight last night?
trend de la creme | Jun 19, 2008 | Reply
…make that Andre LEON Tally.
RunawayGallery | Jun 20, 2008 | Reply
HAHAHAh.. this is really funny. I’m glad I wasn’t the only one that noticed he was wearing that huge sign on his LV box bag. However, mark me as one of the ten people that know/care he exists…
arrnott | Jul 2, 2008 | Reply
so i don’t normally respond to bigoted,nasty uninformed comments but thought this actually warranted a sane response…
just a few little questions
1. what do you actually do ?
2.what movies magazines or any other form of media have you being on recently
3.does anyone actually give a shit who you are?
so i think the answer to all of the above questions will be a big old no no no and nothing…
so before we slag off anyone lets take a look around at ones own life to see if its worthy…
Daniel Saynt | Jul 2, 2008 | Reply
Oh Arrsnot,
Let me bestow on you some knowledge of how shit works around here in Fashion Indie Land. Numero uno, this is what I actually do. We are one of the most successful fashion blogs on the planet. More people read us than all the international Vogue’s combined. Number two, I’ve recently been on the Tyra Banks Show, MTV, and The Travel Chanel bestowing on others my genius. Also, Time Out New York listed us as one of the top blogs of New York City, just under the Satorialist. I’ve been asked to judge numerous design competitions and my company (the one I started four years ago) has developed events for Maurices, Polartec, H&M and a slew of other designers and brands. We’ve worked with over 100 fashion labels and produced some of the most frequented events in NYC.
Does anyone give a shit about me? Try over 500,000 readers per month and an industry that has already marked me as one of the top upcoming influencers in fashion.
So am I worthy. Fuck yeah. Don’t be jealous, just accept.
Hugs and Disses,
Daniel Saynt
Analytics | Jul 2, 2008 | Reply
Daniel,
No offense but I think you may not have a very good grasp on webanalytics. You can’t actually determine that you have 500,000 readers using any proper analytics program. Maybe you have 500,00 impressions a month (though your Alexa ranking doesn’t really suggest that you do) but that isn’t unique views. And unique views isn’t necessarily readers but simply unique IP addresses.
Before getting all high and mighty, realize that these readers may not even give a shit about you, they may be simply random SEO traffic wandering in off the proverbial internet street because you strung together something nicely that some Joe in Kansas had an interest in. Determining influence is a much more nuanced beast.
I would suggest having less of an attitude and simply working harder when a critic comes up. Blowing hot air may seem like a great way to get attention but in the end you have to have something to say that makes people think. This just makes people cringe.
Daniel Saynt | Jul 2, 2008 | Reply
We use Google Analytics to track our readership levels and our page impressions are much higher than mentioned. In addition, we have built a fairly influential network of bloggers which carry our content and have distribution through partner networks. Plus our reach through social networks like MySpace, Facebook, and our own Indies United is substantial with a reach well above a daily 20,000 mark. (We don’t count that when speaking to advertisers and sponsors, it’s just a bonus).
Alexa is a fairly inaccurate way to track unique views since it only tracks the views of those with an Alexa tool bar on their browser. Most young women (the bulk of our audience) don’t give a rats ass about Alexa and probably don’t know what the hell it is.
We do get a good amount of pop-ups from SEO which only shows that we are producing content that is of interest to readers. Terms like “Summer Hair Trends” and “New York Fashion” are fairly targeted search terms which get readers to our site. Our bounce rate has decreased by about 25% since February and many of our current marketing outreach plans should help us generate a more dedicated direct visitor (someone who types in fashionindie.com rather than reaches us through Google). Still an SEO generated reader is still a reader, so we’re very happy we have laid out such a successful campaign.
Basically, my background is e-commerce. I graduated Berkeley with a degree in Business and a minor in Information Technologies. Before Fashion Indie I was in online marketing and ran campaigns for Action Against Hunger and the United Nations. I’ve worked in my share of dot.com’s and have built the infrastructure for sites like Trendible.com.
I’m not trying to be all high and mighty, but occasionally we get dicks on our site who like to believe they know what the fuck their talking about. They don’t. We enjoy correcting them.
Plus, I’m a total asshole online. It’s fun to play a role a bit and make your opinion known. If people disagree that’s okay. We encourage people to write their opinions and regularly feature our favorite “Hate Mail”. Will we answer back? Hell to the yes. It’s fun to fight.
Please don’t think I’m trying to make people cringe. I love the bulk of our readers and regularly feature their lines and comments.
On a side note, who are you and why do you care so much about what we’re doing?
Disappointed | Jul 10, 2008 | Reply
I am actually disappointed at this post… I thought it would be a funny post about Andre not one rudely talking about him… yes, he may be a bit on the big side but really and so what?!? Its not as though you are Gods gift to mankind either… Also as a young gay black man, I find it terribly insulting that you would make the assumption that Andre is humiliating the rest of us by simply being who he is.. that is either by wearing his capes or his double breasted suits. You are not black so dare I say you cannot speak for the population at large!
p.s. in the sex and the city movie, Andre had what we call a “monogrammed” Louis vanity case (as a prop kit none the less) on his lap, hence the reason why his name appeared during the movie you DUMBFUCK!!!!
tjd166 | Jul 11, 2008 | Reply
I’ve run an online marketing and advertising firm for 6+ years and, after finding this via a Gawker spree this morning, expected that the editor of a fashion blog wouldn’t know the 1st thing about web metrics, Google Analytics, etc.
And i am so very happy to be proven wrong.
a.) The list was funny and on point.
b.) Sarah/Julie don’t know shit about SEO, metrics, alexa, etc
And Daniel, you wouldn’t make to Top 50 list of Biggest Online Assholes.
Keep it fierce…
Farha | Jul 11, 2008 | Reply
Oh my.