Ten Things Wrong with Devendra Banhart
Seriously Nat, what is this thing. I know love is blind, but I’m not so here are the ten things wrong with your new man.
1. He looks like that fat bouncer dude from all the Misshapes party. You know, that door bitch that always smelled like b.o. and wore pants four times smaller than his waist line. Yeah, him only a lot thinner.
2. He stole your sunglasses…
3. And your handbag…
4. And your jeans…
5. Plus he’s wearing a peacoat. Only sailors or those railed in the ass by them wear peacoats.
6. He’s smelly (okay that might not be true, but he looks it)
7. Plus his career’s a joke. No one dates rockstars these days. It’s all about sports stars and internet start-up geniuses (aka Daniel Saynt, Rebecca doesn’t have to know ;-P )
8. Did I mention the bag…
9. He looks like a white Andre J. Actually he might be Andre J in drag. Man-drag.
10. Your parents hate him. I know they must.
P.S. I must hate. It’s against my nature not to.
Also before anyone starts developing cute nicknames for you two, here’s mine, BanMan as in ban this man out of your life… at least until your stylist comes and helps him
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About the Author: Founder and main dude at Fashion Indie, Daniel Saynt began his career in fashion at the tender age of 14, when he worked in the stockroom for some unnamed fashion whorehouse. His distaste for the mainstream quickly festered until he decided enough was enough, denouncing all mainstream fashion lines (unless the stuffs on sale or just down right irresistible or free, you can't say no to free).