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I was retrieving my homework from the printer today and almost had a stroke upon turning around. Someone was wearing these crazy plaid shorts that made no visual sense. I went back to my desk and studied them very closely for a few minutes. I realized that not only were they a vulgar color of plaid, but they had leaves and vines faintly intertwined throughout. This motif gives the illusion that a gnome barfed all over the fabric before a seamstress proceeded to add pockets and a zip fly. I am a crusader for plaid anything, so allow me to make a few suggestions. Everyone knows I am obsessed with the D&G fall ’08 collection, so any piece from the line will suffice. Also, Topshop has some fantastic and reasonably priced items like this blue dress. Plaid doesn’t have to be scary; just keep it away from the lawn ornaments.