Edited by Amanda Gabriele on
The Golden Globe Awards, aka my favorite time to barf on everyone’s fashion parade. Jenna Dewan did an exceptionally nice job of giving me material to bash. Not only is the Herve Leger bandage dress so over-worn it makes me want to pull my own teeth, but it was not designed for chickens. I could snap poor Dewan in half over my knee. She needs to come over to my house and eat a nice Greek meal so she can fill out that dress like a woman instead of a 1st grader who was injured during a gym class dodgeball tournament. And the color? Bitch please. This is the perfect look for a burnt-out South Beach cougar.
Thanks Fabulousness!
I stole my first pair of platforms from the Spice Bus in 1997 when Anglophilia was all the rage. Collector of vintage bags, vinyl and kitchen appliances. My dream of becoming a butcher is momentarily on hiatus so I can teach you how to wear muumuus and apply false eyelashes. Follow me on Twitter @CrystlMeatballs.