THE IN(DIE) LIST: High Fashion Superheroes

Daniel Saynt, Editor-In-Chief March 30 at 11:00 | Comments | TWEET THIS

“Holy Sky High Stilettos Batman!!! It’s The League of Extraordinarily Overstyled Gentlegays. Call Commissioner Gordon, that Margiela Sample Sale will be under attack today!!!”

From left to right

BUTCH AIKEN a.k.a. BICURIOUS

When the US government jetisoned a giant trash heap of never purchased issues of Details Magazine into space, no one assumed they’d ever reenter earth’s atmosphere as a giant flaming gaytorite, especially not Butch Aiken. The Ohio teen came face to face with the powerful gaytorite one fateful evening while leaving his on again/off again friends with benefit Stellas house (more on her later). Gifted with the amazing ability to steal his girlfriends clothes and “work”a manbag, BICURIOUS is the ever fierce but always questionable member of the League of Extraodinarily Overstyled Gentlegays.

KARMEN GREY a.k.a. TWINKLE

A 48 year old mad stylist with the face of an infant, Karmen was gifted with perpetual youth while working the shoot of legendary snap jockey CoCo Le Farge. While shooting an Arabian scene, Karmen “unintentially” rubbed the nub of the ancient photographer releasing a magical genie that granted him one singular wish. The man asked for eternal youth and now he looks like that kid from Home Alone. No real powers but he gets carded everywhere he goes.

LEPIDIS JONES a.k.a. THE INCREDIBLE CHUNK

After spending years extreme dieting (eating laxatives and vomiting), Lepidis discovered an incredible inability to loose that last 10 pounds that would render his face thin and his belly small. He uses his extra girth to push out waify socials from front row seats at fashion week and complains daily about how fat he is and how thin everyone else is, thereby making everyone around him feel a little bit better about themselves.

STELLA MESSING a.k.a. FAG HAG

Realizing that she would never find anyone who could “understand” her as well friend with benefits, Butch Aiken, Stella left her job at Kohl’s to follow the transformed Bicurious and become an honorary member of the League. She has the amazing ability to not realize when the gays are being sarcastic to her and can look “frumpy” no matter what she wears.

DAVID JANIS a.k.a. NIGHT SHADE

Half Man, Half Gayday, Night Shade uses his incredible cybernetic glasses to quickly identify runway pieces on the street, spot suitable man meat, and totally know when someone actually has a good body or is just sucking in his gut to appear like he’s skinny. A bit of a loner, Night Shade only joined the League in a failed attempt to get into Bicurious’ pants. He can normally be found at fashion week afterparties… with his shades set to stunning!!!

LINKAGE: THE WATCHMEN//