This Is Not The Way To Preserve You Melons.

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The Angels won't be smiling for long...

Got a little unknown rash around the chestal region? Wake up to boobage scars that weren’t there the night before? Have hives on your tatas and you’re sure you weren’t stung by a bee? Don’t jump to conclusions, you’re probably not growing a third nipple. But if you wear Victoria’s Secret bras, you could be having an allergic reaction to a chemical in the bra.

Ask Roberta Ritter, an avid wearer of Vicky’s bras, who sued the company in May: ”I had the welts … very red, hot to the touch, extremely inflamed, blistery. It itched profusely … I couldn’t sleep, waking up itching. I was just utterly sick.” Um, ouch.

Ritter’s lawyers did some tests on the bras and found that they contain formaldehyde…you know, the poignant smelling chemical that preserved Kermit the Frog before you decided it would be funny to cut his head off in high school biology. Ok, so there’s some sort of embalming liquid the bras…that’s not how to preserve your melons!

Victoria’s Secret refuses the allegations and claims to have strict quality control. Despite the women who demand reimbursement for medical treatment and suffering, the case will not be continued until more evidence is found. Isn’t the bleeding, blistery gash on my left boob enough evidence?

Thanks NY Mag!