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by on January 12, 2012

Let’s get this over with. Well, the People’s Choice Awards – or as I like to call it, “Wait, who’s that on the stage?” –  were last night and Katy Perry cleaned house, winning five of the coveted (?) awards, including Favorite Female Artist, Favorite Song of the Year for “E.T.”, Favorite Music Video for “Last Night (T.G.I.F.)” and interestingly enough, Favorite TV Guest Star for her stint on How I Met Your Mother. Too bad she didn’t bother to show up. But as we all know, the People’s Choice Awards are on par with the Grammys in terms of relevance and on par with a moderately lavish bar mitzvah in terms of its ability to draw celebrities. Other big winners included Emma Stone, who was actually present to accept her awards for  Favorite Movie Actress and Favorite Comedic Movie Actress and Demi Lovato who beat out pop heavyweights Beyoncé, Lady GagaRihanna and Perry to win Favorite Pop Artist. Full, unnecessarily long list of winners after the jump.

An Absent Katy Perry Wins 5 Peoples Choice Awards Proving People Shouldnt Be Allowed to Have Choices or Awards

Favorite MovieHarry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2

Favorite Movie ActorJohnny Depp

Favorite Movie Actress – Emma Stone

Favorite Movie Icon – Morgan Freeman

Favorite Action Movie - Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2

Favorite Action Movie Star – Hugh Jackman

Favorite Drama Movie – Water for Elephants (*snicker*)

Favorite Comedy Movie – Bridesmaids

Favorite Comedic Movie Actor – Adam Sandler

Favorite Comedic Movie Actress – Emma Stone

Favorite Movie Star Under 25 – Chloe Moretz

Favorite Ensemble Movie CastHarry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2

Favorite Animated Movie Voice – Johnny Depp as Rango (yes, this is actually a category)

Favorite Movie Superhero – Ryan Reynolds as Green Lantern

Favorite Book Adaption - Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2

Favorite Network TV Drama – Supernatural

Favorite TV Drama Actor – Nathan Fillion (Castle)

Favorite TV Drama Actress – Nina Dobrev (The Vampire Diaries)

Favorite Cable TV Drama – Pretty Little Liars

Favorite Network TV Comedy – How I Met Your Mother

Favorite TV Comedy Actor – Neil Patrick Harris

Favorite TV Comedy Actress – Lea Michele

Favorite Cable TV Comedy – Hot in Cleveland

Favorite TV Competition Show – American Idol

Favorite TV Crime Drama – Castle

Favorite Sci-Fi/Fantasy Show – Supernatural

Favorite Daytime TV Host – Ellen DeGeneres

Favorite Late Night TV Host – Jimmy Fallon

Favorite TV Guest StarKaty Perry

Favorite TV Celebreality Star – Kim Kardashian (*super snicker*)

Favorite New TV Drama – Person of Interest

Favorite New TV Comedy – 2 Broke Girls

Favorite Male Artist – Bruno Mars

Favorite Female Artist – Katy Perry

Favorite Song of the Year – “E.T.,” Katy Perry feat. Kanye West

Favorite Album of the Year – Born This Way, Lady Gaga

Favorite Pop Artist – Demi Lovato

Favorite Hip Hop Artist – Eminem

Favorite R&B Artist – Rihanna

Favorite Band – Maroon 5

Favorite Country Artist – Taylor Swift (*no comment*)

Favorite Music Video – “Last Friday Night (T.G.I.F.),” Katy Perry

Favorite Tour Headliner – Katy Perry

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Contributed by Lester Brathwaite

I was center square from 1969 to 1978, during which I perfected the art of the zing as well as a crippling cocaine addiction. Bea Arthur was responsible for both. @LesFabian lester dot brathwaite at gmail