by Saynt on
Oh god, another week begins, which means we’re that much closer to my favorite fashion season, FALL!!!
What a great time for layering, boots, chill ready attire, and the kind of fashion pieces that would make any little boy or girl squeal with delight. Okay, it’s not that serious, but this Fall there are few key things I’d love to see make it off the streets and find a proper place to die at Beacon’s Closet. Seriously indies, if you’ve become committed to certain trends it’s time to move forward and say goodbye to these looks before the first dried up orange maple leaf hit the ground.
1. The Lumberjack Shirt – Paul Bunyan called, he want’s his shirt back. Unless you are actually considering a career in logging, the lumberjack should be avoided at all costs. This look has trickled into mainstream faster than a tree falling in the woods, with renditions of this hitting shelves at the Gap and Old Navy in the fall. It’s the staple fashion piece of nebbish Peter Pan looking boymen from the Williamsburg nave, and it’s got to go.
Alternative: Has anyone heard of Argyle? A slew of designers are playing with the pattern in new ways, so look for the diamond class geometric design to handle you’re plaid fix.
2. Nerd Shades – When did it become cool to look like the kid who used to get swirlies and atomic wedgies in high school? While I myself will admit I attempted the nerd look three years ago with a pair of taped black rimmed glasses, I got over it quick and moved on to more presentable eyewear. Well the nerd has gone mainstream with rappers like Kanye West and Pharell rocking it, and a slew of hipster types keeping it going. Hopefully, we can finally graduate and grow a sack, cause looking like you’re better at Star Wars trivia than fucking is getting old quick.
Opt For: Exclusivity. Research for a pair of shades no one else will have, like truly vintage specs (not fake vintage from American Apparel) or a collection from an obscure designer or collaboration. CoLab creates some limited edition shades that will get you off of the “you look like everyone else” train in no time.
3. Plain White V-Neck T’s – Come one guys, can you at least try to look like you put some thought into your outfit. The v-neck t-shirt has been getting a ton of play on the scene and it’s about time it was retired. While some actually try to make this a look by adding a crap load of accessories, for the most part you’re just rocking a smelly ass t-shirt with pit stains that you refuse to take off. If you can’t stand to buy anything but American Apparel, and you feel you should get some wear out of a $30 basic, I understand, but seriously consider picking up some Hanes v-necks, they’re $10 bucks for a pack of 5 and will look exactly the same except with less eu de hipster B.O.
Try this: Polos. Seriously. It’s a completely underutilized look in the hipster world and I’m ready to see what Brooklyn based graphic designers could do if the t-shirt suddenly fell out of favor and the collared look reigned supreme. Hell, I’ll even give you hooded t-shirts. Them things look hot as fuck and are uber wearable.
4. Getting Wasted – Okay, this may be a cultural change more than a fashionable change, but you’re $2000 Gucci bag looks like shit if you’re completely fucked up and falling over yourself drunk. That whole “life of the party”, drinking till you black out, who the fuck is this guy sleeping next to me, why am I covered in vomit thing has an expiration date. Get over it and instead of spending your first hour in the bar downing PBR’s consider talking to some people and getting your swaying in the corner ass onto the dancefloor. You came out to party, not to get snapped by some sexual predator/nightlife photographer.
This one in your size: For one night, skip the liquor and see how badly everyone looks at 3AM. Take photos and start your own photo blog. Reference it when you think about getting trashed. You’ll quickly discover how great life is now that you’re not on some hipster version of Girls Gone Wild.
5. Tasseled Boots – Don’t you dare do it. I know you want to. I know you think you can possibly make them look cool. I know they are in stores now, but unless you want to look like every other person with $100 in their shoe fund, I’d opt out of this trend quickly. They are just over-glorified Uggs and their about as attractive as a pair of Mammoth Crocs. Stay away, or did you already forget the Gladiator invasion of Spring 2008.
Try these boots on for size: Become a style anthropologist and infiltrate another culture. Try to be a sneaker freaker for a little bit. Check out some of the sneaker shops in Soho or have a custom pair created for you at Nike Lab. Get a pair of vintage Jordan’s and be the first in your cliche to rock a pair of $1000 kicks. Then proceed to discuss why you’re original as your friends begin to see tasseled boots on every street corner of the city.
6. Being Agyness Deyn – Lets be honest indies, this model has a 50/50 success rate on the stylish/shitish scale. Sometimes she looks amazing and trendworthy, other times she looks like she raided the closet of Krusty the Clown. Attempt the Aggy with great caution. There’s no need to dye your hair platinum blonde and get a pixie cut, there’s no need to rock ratty old converse, and there’s no need for suspenders in your day to day. Aggy is a force of nature more than a style icon so don’t imitate unless you are fully ready for ridicule for looking like a character from Saved by the Bell.
Try this one: Be yourself. Actually, that was gay. Try being someone better than you, like your friend who works at Nylon who has unlimited access to daddies bank account. Befriend these people and steal shit from their closet when their not looking.