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Edited by on December 27 2010 at 11:36 AM

If you’re like me, you’re trapped in the snow and are contemplating pulling an Aron Ralston just to escape the frozen tundra of hell that has become the Holiday season. So in order to keep the quickly dwindling sanity, I threw together a few ideas while the MTA gets its shit together.

7 Post Holiday Snowstorm Funtime Activities

7 Post Holiday Snowstorm Funtime Activities

1. Drink – Yes it’s still technically the morning and yes I have been half in the bag since…Tuesday, but a girl has to keep warm somehow, despite what modern science has to say.

7 Post Holiday Snowstorm Funtime Activities

2. Board Games – Who’s ready for some wholesome family fun?! Yeah, me neither. But everything is more entertaining when it involves forced disrobing. Strip Monopoly anyone? I’m going to need something bigger than a thimble, though.

7 Post Holiday Snowstorm Funtime Activities

3. Golden Girls marathon – What better comfort in life is there than the crotchety banter of four grandmothers with impeccable comedic timing, seated around 3 sides of a kitchen table in their ostentatious robes, stuffing their faces with cheesecake and regaling each other with their sexual misadventures? Nothing — that’s what. If it’s not, for some ungoldy reason, on TV, there’s always the interwebs.

7 Post Holiday Snowstorm Funtime Activities

4. Drink – I saw Carrie Fisher‘s one-woman show on HBO, Wishful Drinking, and if I learned anything from it, it’s that booze only makes awful things fun. And that having Debbie Reynolds as a mother is a double edged sword; however, both edges are covered in insanity.

7 Post Holiday Snowstorm Funtime Activities

5. Sex - I’m vaguely familiar with the concept, but I hear it’s fun and a good way to pass the time. If you’re sans a sexual partner, you can always dry hump a body pillow. I’m also vaguely unfamiliar with the concept, but I hear if you turn off the lights, put on some Prince and think of handbags, it’s practically the same.

7 Post Holiday Snowstorm Funtime Activities

6. Drink – I’m already planning a Naomi Campbell-inspired cleanse to shed some of this booze bloat and holiday hangover weight. Who knew it was possible to gain 15 lbs over the course of one day?

7 Post Holiday Snowstorm Funtime Activities

7. Cannibalism – This is strictly for when, inevitably, the snow covers the entire east coast causing power to fail, the exhaustion of all food sources and the Four Horses of the Apocalypse to saddle up. But, if you can’t eat your loved ones who can you eat?

Story by Lester Brathwaite

I was center square from 1969 to 1978, during which I perfected the art of the zing as well as a crippling cocaine addiction. Bea Arthur was responsible for both. @LesFabian lester at fashionindie.com