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Edited by on April 29 2008 at 9:44 AM

Annie Made Me Do It

By now everyone and their grandmother has seen this non-controverisal, controversial Miley Cyrus photo, photographed by that smut-peddler Annie Leibovitz. It’s been awhile since I’ve posted a ‘real’ Inqusition post, but this incident has pulled me out of hibernation.

I couldn’t help but become irate that while watching my half-an-hour of real news, from 6:30-7, all they seemed to talk about was this photo. And then it went to the hour of entertainment shows, and it was all about the photos. And then the news at 10 and 11, and so on and so on.

Am I the only person seeing someone’s semi-emaciated back? I kept thinking a boob had popped out and I had just not noticed. But no. At a time when you can see Miley with her day-glow bra exposed all over the internet, that photo is controversial? If there was going to be a semi-nude photo of me on the internet I would rather it be taken by Annie Lebowitz any day.

And another thing, what’s the deal with blaming Annie Leibovitz? Is that really fooling anyone? From the press I’ve heard, you would have thought it was Terry Richardson taking the photo!

Annie Made Me Do It

Does she realize that Leibovitz shots every other photoshoot that appears in magazines? In a few years when Cyrus will inevitably shot one those obligatory GAP Icons ads-who do you think is going to shoot it? Let’s just hope she doesn’t piss off Inez and Vindooh.

Why is this photo such a big deal? Because Miley does not own herself, no she is the property of The Walt Disney Corporation. She is their commodity and that commodity is innocence. And they are going to hold onto that till she marries her elementary sweetheart in Vegas for 52 hours and effectively loses all her fanbase with increasingly erratic behavior. It’s the tried and true Britney formula. And another thing she isn’t the first celebrity to mix her youth and innocence with risqué, suggestive photos.

Remember this?

Annie Made Me Do It

(Britney photographed by David LaChapelle for Rolling Stone at 17)

Or the originator:

Annie Made Me Do It

(Brooke Shields at 15 in those infamous Calvin Klein ads)

The truth is, this is such a none story. I don’t mind Billy Bush talking about this photo with the same gravity as if it’s the war in Iraq, because that’s his job-to talk about nothing as if it’s something. But when Charlie Gibson starts speaking about the scandal like it’s Iraq, we’ve got problems. So CNN, NBC, ABC, MSNBC, and FOX NEWS back off of the Miley Cyrus photo-semi-nude-back-gate and leave it to the professionals-us bloggers. Who else has nothing better to do than take an hour out of day to write about Miley Cyrus? Now if you don’t mind I’m going to watch me some CNN. And Miley, if you think that photos is embarrassing at least you haven’t posed for an American Apparel ad yet!

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Story by Lauren Garroni

There once was a girl from California who bitch slapped Anna Wintour and then called Andre Leon Tally a fatty. That girl wasn't me but god was she fucking cool. Love: foreign fashion magazines, newstands, charlotte rampling, silent movies Hate: Lilo, ScarJo, The Zoe, trends, but chiefly hipsters-fuck hipsters