The Blessed

Gwyny P. Holdin’ It Down For Working Mothers

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I have been known through the years to call Gwyneth Paltrow everything from a ‘melanin deficient bean pole’ to ‘bulimic boy chested trollop’ to ‘talentless slope headed bone bag’…..but I digress.  I never agreed with people labeling her a “Trendsetter” but I’ve also been known to form opinions in haste.  Therefore, I must apologize to Gwyny P. becuz clearly giving birth to two parasites has done wonders for her body.  I’m of course referring to her recently making the rounds to promote her return to the big screen but she’s killing the red carpet.  My favorite is the black lace and beaded Balmain mini dress with satine lapeled blazer and 4inch McQueen platform pumps (above) yea Mama, that’s the good stuff baby!  Hot Legs,  the greatest accessory known to man!

Look below for more Oscar winnin’ McGoodness:

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   Peek-a-boo Stella McCartney

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Hot’n'Sexy in Preen

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    Razzle Dazzle in Sonia Rykiel 

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The Blessed: The Superficial Friends

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They live in the Hall of Anorexia.

Nicole Richie’s power is super puke.

Paris can call her dad.

Olsen Twins turn into Bob Sagat and anything made of ice.

Lindsay Lohan has expanding boobs.

They fight people like Steve Colbert, Wilmer Valderama, and Bradgelina.

Greatest online show ever… 

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The Blessed: David Chu

David’s glasses are one of a kind and we’re crafted during his time at Nautica. 

I had the amazing opportunity to meet fashion legend David Chu yesterday at a Mets game I was invited to by my business partner, Busie Matsiko. He was a guest of Basil and Chris Stamos, two of the coolest, most charitable dudes you could ever meet.

David Chu founded Nautica in 1983 with 6 sailing jackets and sold the company 20 years later for a reported 1 billion buckeroos.  A true fashion pioneer, David Chu offered words of true wisdom stating that what was most important to him was finding something he loved and remaining passionate about it.  After the sale of Nautica, you would think David would have been set to hang up his designing board and enjoy a much deserved retirement.  Instead the designer launched his own self-titled collection, which had enjoyed a cozy little spot on Saks sixth floor next to Armani and Zegna.  Currently, the designer/entrepreneur enjoys a Chief Creative Officer position at luxury luggage company, Tumi, a spot that will allow him to flex his creative muscle and potentially the best fit for this former architect student turned designer.  What could this change mean for the world of Tumi?  Only time will tell, but expect David’s own vision and direction to take the luxe brand to new directions in the next couple of years.

Congrats on being a truly A+ individual David. You are officially blessed.

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The Trolsons Further Infect The World

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   Sooooo(gasp)………..hungry (wheeze)…………

Well, the malnourished have triumphed yet again.  Mary Kate & Ashley have taken time out from not bathing and not eating and making high-fashion look like duds from Goodwill to bring us a new “high-end” line. Now I was expecting to totally and completely pan it in my polite and friendly manner,  but it ain’t all that bad.  I actually think it’s a good beginning for the girls sportswear line………….did I say that?!  Must be a full moon.

‘Elizabeth’ refers to the signature blazer tailored more to a woman’s form and ‘James’ is the boyish tailored blazer with a boxy fit.  E & J offers fun pencil skirts, fur jackets (PETA is gonna bust some heads for this one), sack dresses, cashmere sweaters………..something for the sickly fashionista longing for a piece of fried chicken in us all.

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I really am shocked.  I mean it’s not as if it’s the second coming of Valentino, but it’s not bad - not bad at all.  Truth is,  I know these girls aren’t really designing a thing in their collection but what can we really expect from them?!  After all, your brain turns to poo when all you’ve eaten is lettuce and paper towels.  I’m sending a box of fatnin’ donuts and a few double meat, double cheezes from Micky D’s 1st class for the utter salvation of The Trolsons………put it in ya mouf’.

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The Blessed : Hercules and Love Affair

The nineties will eventually take over and make you dance. Hercules and Love Affair are a fresh new import for the land of Henry Holland.  Know them and prepare to hear them at every single hipster bar in Williamsburg. Their sound is very synthesizer meets melody, which means its just cheesy enough to be considered ironic and just danceable enough to move to.

Check out their official site here.

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Well, I’ll Be A Trannies Coke Vile!

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I actually like Anja Rubik Indies,  I actually like her!  In spite of the fact that she was caught posing with Chloe Sevignums’.  what a silly career move……..Jesus is not pleased!  I was all prepared to trash her and talk about her mamma and make references toward her being a promiscuous crack whore after seeing her with Chloe on the cover of Nylon (cuz I just knew she had to be on serious mind altering substances to even let her dead corpse be caught doing anything with Sevignums’), but then I looked her up and she really is something special, not a crack whore at all.

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Anja                             vs                     Agyness

The Polish tart has graced various covers of Vogue abroad and has an impressive portfolio that made even ME do a double take….aren’t we impressed indies.  She’s also been getting booked like crazy since she chopped off her long blond tresses and got her Twiggy on.  Now even tho’ we worship Agnyess as our number one doll with a boy cut,  we think if Anja keeps steppin’ her game up, she might actually make us second guess ourselves.

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Bruno Hits the Streets

Sacha Baron Cohen, star of Borat, is lining up a new list of offended plaintiffs as he films scenes for his new movie Bruno, based off his gay Austrian journalist character from the Ali G show.

Universal ponied up more than $42 million for “Bruno” and is eyeing an October release, so it may not be coincidence that suspicious news and video from Kansas surfaced in late March. Local papers and the Associated Press all seemed fooled, soberly reporting about a fuss at Wichita Mid-Continent Airport.

Members of a film crew “had permission from the airport to film a scene on March 18 based on a ‘European man’ visiting America,” the AP said. “But security workers became concerned when they began dancing in tight short shorts, kissing and fighting in the lobby.”

Dancing in tight short shorts? Kissing and fighting? Oh, yes, this may be the best possible representation of a gay fashion person ever!!!  Get ready for the backlash Sasha!!!

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