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Past Blasts (or is it future?): The Jetsons

I thought for sure as a child we would all be dressing like the by the time I left for college. But like my letter from Hogwarts (yes folks, I am a HUGE Potter-nerd), I am still waiting and fear the time may never come. Who couldn’t love this futuristic family’s ultra out-there style and really cool pad up in space. The hats, collars, crazy hair and gadgets perpetually attached to them should be coming down the runway any day now.

BoringSeen BetterOkayGood StuffDa Bomb Diggety (1 votes, average: 3 out of 5)
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Crimes of Fashion Past: Prom Attire


Taffeta. Sequins. Glitter. Boutonnières, white rented tuxedos and shiny plastic shoes. There is one time in every person’s life when these elements join forces to create a heinous, overdramatic scene of bad fashion- PROM. The dresses have such full skirts that eight small children could hide underneath. Scratchy fabrics in pastel colors are mixed with far too many sequins. Couples try to match the tux to the dress, a detail that usually ends with eighties-esque cummerbunds. Girls go to the makeup counter at the mall and get a clown face painted on their skin. Boys’ mothers buy corsages laced with synthetic ribbons and pounds of glitter. Photos are taken on suburban lawns in 50 different poses that drunken parents assemble. Chicken, baked potatoes and processed rolls are consumed. Attendees grind and sweat all over each other and a queen and king are crowned with cubic zirconium. Goodbyes are said, tears fall and virginities are lost. For all of you whose prom is long gone, relive the tacky memories and have a good laugh. For some of you who are looking forward to the parade of troublesome style, please avoid these elements at all costs. You will be much happier looking back at the photos someday.

BoringSeen BetterOkayGood StuffDa Bomb Diggety (4 votes, average: 4.5 out of 5)
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Crimes of Fashion Past: Urban Camouflage

“I saw Cady Heron wearing army pants and flip-flops, so I bought army pants and flip-flops.” That’s fine if you and Cady Heron fought in Desert Storm together, but I’m pretty sure they’re an unnecessary garment for roaming the school sans hall pass. I remember the days when my grade school classmates would haul ass to Abercrombie when the new cargo-pocketed, paper-shredded army pants hit the racks. I sat back, watched, grimaced and laughed years later when the trend ended up in the trash. Camouflage is a uniform for combat. It’s not meant to be worn by “alternative” teenagers and “cool moms” who pair it with pink Juicy Couture. I see it popping up randomly every now and then, but thank goodness the sightings are far and few between. Please good citizens, let’s keep it as a crime of fashion past.

BoringSeen BetterOkayGood StuffDa Bomb Diggety (No Ratings Yet)
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When Fashion Icons Get Old: Iggy Pop

was one sexy mo-fo in the 1970’s. He would come out on stage with no shirt, silver pants, and cut up his chest. Now that’s rock and roll! This look inspired rockers from Axl Rose to Scott Wieland.

But now that his bloodletting days are over, Iggy has moved down to Florida and is taking things easier. What does a bad-ass rocker and a soccer mom have in common? Crocs! Here he is walking around in gray Crocs, shorts, and orange shirt.

This is what happens when fashion icons grow old.

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BoringSeen BetterOkayGood StuffDa Bomb Diggety (No Ratings Yet)
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Crimes of Fashion Past: Slave?? Bracelets

I was wondering what to even call these contraptions, so I typed “bracelet chain ring” into the Google search bar. A lovey photo came up that describes visually the horrendous crime I was trying to bust. And the Web site called it a “slave bracelet,” so I guess I’ll play along.

This fashion statement was gross and terrible. It looks like a witch who got into heavy metal, stopped showering and started reading Tarot cards to kids in trench coats at the local Gothic bar. I would almost rather wear a chain attaching my nose ring to my ear, if it meant my face wouldn’t accidentally get torn apart in the subway. and are two different things; believe it or not, that’s why they’re usually separated. These are noisy when shaking hands, get caught on clothing and just look ridiculous. Halloween=Okay. Joke=Acceptable. Trying to be trendy=Leave it in the…what era was this from again??

BoringSeen BetterOkayGood StuffDa Bomb Diggety (No Ratings Yet)
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Style Icons- The Clueless Crew

People sometimes ask me who my first fashion influences were as a young girl. I am proud to say my mom and aunt were two of my biggest icons. But as I grew into my wacky character throughout middle school, there were three other ladies I looked to for unique style ideas. Yes my friends, I admit that Cher, Dionne and Amber were my first huge fashion influences. Those girls would waltz through Beverly Hills in plaid mini skirts, thigh-high socks and marabou everything. My favorite purse- I bought it in honor of my favorite movie and tv show- was lavender patent leather with huge metal zippers and matching wallet on a chain. I carried it for years. So next time you see someone who could appear in the “DONTs,” just ask him or her in the words of Cher, “Do you prefer ‘fashion victim’ or ‘ensembly challenged’?”

BoringSeen BetterOkayGood StuffDa Bomb Diggety (No Ratings Yet)
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Crimes of Fashion Past: Lace Ups

There was this horrible trend circulating the junior highs when I was 12 or 13, and the though of it still gives me the flu. It started with one of those horrendous tan shirts; you know the ones with bell sleeves and about 600 strings hanging from it? The color tan was carried to the pants, usually in a suede string lacing up the fly. Not only is this foul design detail unpleasant to the eye, but it doesn’t serve a purpose either. I would see girls walking around the mall tying and retying their pants together every five minutes. For the grand finale, boots of the same color were added to the feet. These were usually suede or leather with a cheap rubber platform sole and had strings dangling from them somewhere. The whole shebang just reeks of a hippie that smokes crack instead of herb. Add some white lip-gloss and bad highlights and voila! Instant army of skanks.

BoringSeen BetterOkayGood StuffDa Bomb Diggety (No Ratings Yet)
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Crimes of Fashion Past: 1984

Another weekend, another fashion crime from the 80’s. Here is a German advertisement from 1984 selling….who knows? Bad puffy dresses? White Tuxes?

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Crimes of Fashion Past: The International Male 1986

These images are great, thanks Jezebel. The funny part about these is that most of these pieces are still in style and have been remade for todays world. The above look reminds me of something Chuck Bass would wear, and the cropped leather jacket (without the fringe) is still in, not to mention the ski sweaters that many designers remake during fall season. Can’t say much for the onesie though…

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Crimes of Fashion Past: Bad 80’s Fashion

Is there anything worse than desaturated synthetic fabrics?! Maybe some pink ultra-suede pants?! And a permed-mullet to finish the look?!

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BoringSeen BetterOkayGood StuffDa Bomb Diggety (No Ratings Yet)
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