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Did You Know Halle Berry Has an Ugly Line of German Shoes?


Or is it a German line of ugly shoes? Either way, the shoes are German and an eye sore. 

Did You Know Halle Berry Has an Ugly Line of German Shoes?

When you think Halle Berry you think “beautiful,” you think “sexy,” you think “boy, that was really a waste of an Oscar.” Gothika, really? The  occasional actress already has her own award-winning — the Fifis are an award — line of fragrances and she’s added a line of shoes with German brand Deichmann, “5 Ave by Halle Berry.”

Did You Know Halle Berry Has an Ugly Line of German Shoes?

"Seriously, this? Well, someone's gotta pay for Nahla's baby Bentley. Lights, camera, let's get this over with."

Why a German brand, you ask? This is just a shot in the dark, but: one can assume Deichmann offered beaucoup bucks and, it being a foreign brand, Berry wouldn’t be as blatantly associated with this doesn’t-it-feel-good-to-Payless-quality of shoe as if she had went with an American label. Or a well-known label. Or a known label. Celebrities, after all, are famous for shilling the basest of products overseas, far away from their snobby peers  and prestigious careers.

But why — oh why, Halle — are the shoes…this:

Did You Know Halle Berry Has an Ugly Line of German Shoes?

Apparently having never met a boxy wedge she didn’t like, Berry’s collection has all the sexiness of a game of geriatric strip bingo.

Perhaps guided by her claim that her shoes “can easily be worn by every woman,” 5 Ave by Halle Berry retails for less than $50 — that is if you can get them in America. But hopefully, much like her films from the past ten years — I mean, just try to act, it’s all I’m asking for — these shoes will disappear before anyone gets to see them. [Telegraph]

Written by Lester Brathwaite

I was center square from 1969 to 1978, during which I perfected the art of the zing as well as a crippling cocaine addiction. Bea Arthur was responsible for both. @LesFabian lester dot brathwaite at gmail