by Josh Linam on
BREAKING NEWS: Angelina Jolie is an alien robot spy.
(According to false reports.)
Read the story for more…
Untrustworthy sources say that Jolie went in for a routine breast exam when her clavicle malfunctioned, and she started shooting laser beams out of her head.
Upon tackling the insanely sexy robot and interrogating “it,” authorities found that Jolie is a spy.
The sexy robot actress was sent to planet Earth by evil Zoltron to hoard fresh farm produce. (Strawberries are the source of her race’s power.)
I gotta say I’m not surprised on this one. I consider anyone with lips that luscious a robot. (That’s you, Kardashian.)
PS. Those 32 adopted children.. they’re alien drones. Sent to destroy you.