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Edited by on August 25 2008 at 12:00 PM

Fashion F*Ups: Suburbia Hell

There are perks to living in the suburban MidWest that you just can’t find in the city. The air doesn’t smell like garbage, you can take a breath without getting a lungful of pollution and a few shiny dimes will rent you a massive apartment. Obviously, suburbia comes with substantial downsides like pollen allergies, malls and girls who believe dressing like baby prostitutes is fashionable. An ass-revealing denim skirt paired with a shirt stolen from a second grader and finished with Ugg boots seems to be the uniform of choice for many ‘round these parts. Upon thinking of how many times I have seen this outfit in my four years of college, I have to take a Vicodin to ease my dreadful migraine. And if winter isn’t bad enough in the Snow Belt, I will get to see sweatpants tucked into those same Uggs in a matter of weeks. Seems like the perfect season to start a blinder fad!

Story by Amanda Gabriele

I stole my first pair of platforms from the Spice Bus in 1997 when Anglophilia was all the rage. Collector of vintage bags, vinyl and kitchen appliances. My dream of becoming a butcher is momentarily on hiatus so I can teach you how to wear muumuus and apply false eyelashes. Follow me on Twitter @CrystlMeatballs.