You gave the dick

Can someone please buy these photos? We can't afford Huggies...

Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz have failed to find a buyer for their baby’s photos.

So Bronx Mowgli won’t be joining the annuls of celebrity spawn we actually give a fuck about. My suggestion to Ashlee is to just give this one up for adoption and try to pop out some twins with a celebrity people actually care about, maybe one of the Jonas Brothers.

Here are five reasons why no one wants photos of your bastard child, just in-case you were wondering…

1. He didn’t pop out of Angelina’s uterus.

2. The baby wasn’t born with your new nose.

3. Nobody wants to see a baby with guy liner.

4. You can’t feature Mowgli without Baloo. Disney’s rules, not our own.

5. The Economy. You can pretty much blame it for anything these days.