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Edited by on November 14 2011 at 11:45 AM

With only five days left till H&M is besieged by fervent Versace devotees, it’s important to know how to navigate the crowds and how to get the biggest bang for your buck. With that in mind, H&M has implemented a shopping system to ensure no one gets elbowed in the breast for a patterened legging or kneed in the groin for a silk dress.

Guidelines for Shopping the Versace x H&M Collection

Photo: Racked

- Firstly, the collection hits stores statewide this Saturday, November 19th. There will no doubt be lines before the stores open — generally around 9 am — so bring some coffee, a flask and a friend to keep you company.

- Secondly, the first 280 people in the store will receive one of 14 different color bracelets, 20 people per bracelet color. The bracelets are only needed for shopping the Versace women’s collection, not the men’s or H&M’s other collections. So for the first time in…well, forever, I’ll be eschewing the ladies section. The bracelets will have a specific time for shopping and once your slot comes up, you’ll have 15 minutes to get down to business.

- Thirdly, once the first 280 have gone at the collection, every one else will get their chance to shop. But don’t worry because…

- Fourthly, there’s a shopping limit. Every customer is limited to a maximum of two pieces per product, so you can buy two sizes in a shoe or a garment or two of the same accessories but that’s it.

- And finally, to ensure your local H&M carries the collection you want, there’s a convenient store locator on the site for Ladies, Men and Home goods.

Sure, this sounds like a gigantic pain in the ass, but it’s Saturday morning and you’re going to be hungover anyway. Just keep drinking and by midday you’ll have the most coveted diffusion line of the year.

Story by Lester Brathwaite

I was center square from 1969 to 1978, during which I perfected the art of the zing as well as a crippling cocaine addiction. Bea Arthur was responsible for both. @LesFabian lester at