by Corey Moran on
Sluts around the world rejoice, the best thing since the Morning After Pill has surfaced. Liquid Virgin boasts the slogan “Creates A Tight, Wet Feeling Everytime!” So for all you skanks out there who make the sound of flip flops when you’re wearing sneakers, never fear just give yourself two little drops of this life changing juice, and you’ll feel like that drunk high school girl who got taken advantage of on prom night all over again. I give it three years before Miley Cyrus is buying this stuff in bulk. Liquid Virgin provides 15 minutes of tightness before you’re back to looking like the jowls of the dog from the Sandlot.
I personally think that Madonna should skip the snatch (that no one wants anymore) and just apply this directly to her face.
I would like to appologize to the dog from the Sandlot, there was no need for me to drag him into this. For all you high school girls who want to get out to a fresh start in college, here is the link to snag some of this wizard juice.