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Edited by on October 27 2008 at 4:35 PM

Human Vending Machine. Times Square. Free Shit. What Could Be Better?The title basically sums it up. Those three things induce my self prescribed ADD, make me forget about the real pressing issues in this crazy world, and force me to plan out my November 18th, the day I skip philosophy class to get some free Uniqlo crap in Times Square. Uniqlo will be hosting a promotion featuring its new Heat Tech innerwear by giving thousands of sets away for FREE! This is what a Uniqlo rep had to say about the upcoming promotion:

“Basically we’re going to have two mimes. A male and a female mime inside the machine. And the public can see them through glass. When you get there, we’re going to have Uniqlo reps dressed in the silver bodysuits. And they’re going to hold a thermograph scanner — think of an airport security machine. The thermographer identifies cold spots in your body. After you go through that, you go to the vending machine and push a button and the mimes are going to do a synchronized choreographed routine and then your outfit comes out.”

No more spending 25 cents to watch stale gum-balls spiral down vending machines in the local mall. Now I get to watch mimes in silver suits dance and give me free crap. AWESOME.


Thanks NY Mag!

Story by Kirby Marzec

Dior, Not War.