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by on November 12, 2011

Karl Lagerfeld is a genius. And like most genii, he’s also completely bat-shit crazy. Over the years he’s offered his usually unsolicited opinions about people and — never really known for his cheery disposition — his comments have usually fallen in the spectrum of bitchy and, well, super bitchy. Below are 13 of the Kaiser’s greatest backhanded compliments.

INDIE REWIND: Backhanded: Karl Lagerfelds 13 Greatest Compliments

On Coco Chanel:

“No one wanted to be told by an old lady that miniskirts and jeans weren’t chic. The result was that she lost her power and in the end no one cared about what she did.”

On Yves Saint Laurent:

“He is very middle-of-the-road French-very pied-noir, very provincial.”

On Anna Wintour:

“People I’m really friendly with have faxes. Anna Wintour has one. We speak via fax.”

On Emmanuelle Alt:

“Her style is her big shoulders, long legs, tight jeans, sleeves up to the elbow, one hip out. I personally like her.”

On Carine Roitfeld:

“It would have been difficult to have an ugly daughter.”

On Andy Warhol:

“I shouldn’t say this, but physically he was quite repulsive.”

On Heidi Klum:

“I don’t know Heidi Klum. She was never known in France. Claudia Schiffer also doesn’t know who she is.”

On Kate Moss:

Kate Moss has a lot of courage in the way she throws her life away in a very dangerous way, but that makes her so touching.”

On Jessica Simpson:

Ecch. I’m not that impressed. I’m not that interested. I’m not that impressed.”

On ex-muse Inès de la Fressange:

“I wish her all the luck in the world, just so long as I don’t have to see her anymore or hear her spoken about.”

On Carla Bruni:

“She was one of the ten supermodels… She has a great education and speaks many languages. She’s perfect for the job of first lady. I even photographed her naked… but they were elegant and she had nothing against it. She couldn’t care less. She’s very cool like that. The photo is beautiful. I can show you the nude of her. I did it for Visionaire in 1998. ”

On Kate Middleton:

“For the royals, apparently the royal blood is not in demand any longer.”

On the Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen:

‘”They don’t have a strong enough image. They still have to make the movie that everybody remembers.”

On himself:

“I have no human feelings.” – Uncle Karl, will you adopt me?

On children:

“If I were interested in children, I would be a godfather.” – Well-played, sir. Well-played.

Link LoveVogue UK / Oh No They Didn’t!  / PhotoVogue UK

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Contributed by Lester Brathwaite

I was center square from 1969 to 1978, during which I perfected the art of the zing as well as a crippling cocaine addiction. Bea Arthur was responsible for both. @LesFabian lester dot brathwaite at gmail