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Lindsay Lohan as Liz Taylor, Karl Lagerfeld on Kate Middleton’s Butt and the Kardashians Get Biggie wit It

- Lindsay Lohan pretends to be a surfer — calling this “acting” would be a stretch —  in a clip — calling this a “film” would be a lie — by artist Richard Phillips. [NYT]

- Speaking of Lindsay, here’s the first look at La Lohan as Elizabeth Taylor for her upcoming Lifetime movie, Liz & Dick. I see they’ve decided to portray Liz during her drunken, coked-up heyday of the late-1970s. Way to commit, Linds. [The Hollywood Gossip]

Lindsay Lohan as Liz Taylor, Karl Lagerfeld on Kate Middletons Butt and the Kardashians Get Biggie wit It

- The upcoming cycle of America’s Next Top Model looks god awful. However, Tyra looks great in the promo while new judge Rob Evans manages to look both incredibly hot and incredibly lost. [The Cut]

- Donald Trump‘s professional attempt at pageantry, the Miss USA Pageant is still around and just as tacky and trashy as the man who founded it. [Styleite]

Karl Lagerfeld thinks Kate Middleton‘s butt is “just as lovely” as her sister Pippa‘s. Hear that, Duchess? You’re finally getting some attention! [Fashionista]

- Just like its protagonist, Sidney Prescott, the Scream franchise just won’t die — though MTV is determined to put it out of its misery with a new weekly TV series. [TV Line]

- America’s one-time Sweetheart Drew Barrymore wed art dealer Will Kopelman in Chanel over the weekend, with bff Cameron Diaz by her side. [Us]

- If you can get through this video in its entirety, you have my never-ending respect — or lack thereof: the Kardashians flossing and flaunting to Biggie‘s “Hypnotize.” I got about 1:45 in then I saw Kris Jenner backing it up on her son-in-law in her billowy leopard-print caftan and I had to call it quits. [Styleite]

- Two exhibits on Helmut Newton are coming to Los Angeles this summer: “Three Boys From Pasadena: A Tribute to Helmut Newton,” from June 14 through August 26 and “Sex and Landscapes,” from June 26 through August 25. [WWD]

Contributed by Lester Brathwaite

I was center square from 1969 to 1978, during which I perfected the art of the zing as well as a crippling cocaine addiction. Bea Arthur was responsible for both. @LesFabian lester dot brathwaite at gmail