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by on December 8, 2011

Boy, when something leaks these days, does it ever leak. Rolling into every crevice of society like so much used bath water. Which is the perfect way to describe the Lindsay Lohan Playboy cover that debuted late yesterday and has already managed to trickle its way down the hairy leg of the internet. 

Lindsay Lohans Playboy Cover Springs a Leak All Over the Internet

Who took the photo of the cover and how it was leaked will forever remain a mystery — or we could just cut the bull and assume Lindsay snapped it on the passenger seat of her SUV while speeding down the highway with a Starbucks laced with whiskey in one hand and a cigarette in the other, then sent it in to a few “reputable” sources. Either way, Lohan only plans on doing one interview to promote her Play-time and that interview, rather bafflingly, is with daytime’s favorite lesbian — you’ll get ‘em next year, Maddow – Ellen Degeneres.

The sometime Sapphic sister will stop by the Ellen Degeneres Show on December 15 to reveal her spread — I seriously almost threw up in my mouth just then — a “tasteful” and “classy” tribute to Marilyn Monroe‘s classic pictorial by Tom Kelley. The cover, though, pays homage to another Playboy classic;  the October 1971 issue which featured Darine Stern,  the first black model to appear on the cover by herself. I can’t wait to see Ellen and her audience of soccer moms and unemployed homosexuals writhe uncomfortably in their seats while Lohan discusses the artistic merit and historic significance of the shoot. DVRs at the ready, kids! [Huff Po]

Update: And after the entire spread leaked to the internet — you’re welcome — Hugh Hefner has announced that Lindsay’s Playboy issue will hit newsstands early to capitalize on the buzz/to make as much cash as possible before everyone gets tired of it. The Hef tweeted Friday: “Because of the interest & the Internet leak, we’re releasing the Lindsay Lohan issue early.”

Then: “The Lindsay Lohan issue of Playboy is going to be a true Collector’s Edition.”

And after referring to the landmark issue as “Hot. Hot. Hot.n [sic],” Hef decided to bring it to an even deeper level of creepy: “The Lindsey Lohan issue will make the perfect Christmas issue for men in your life–father, son, husband, boyfriend, whoever.”

And this is exactly why you don’t want your grandparents on the Twitter. [MTV]


Contributed by Lester Brathwaite

I was center square from 1969 to 1978, during which I perfected the art of the zing as well as a crippling cocaine addiction. Bea Arthur was responsible for both. @LesFabian lester dot brathwaite at gmail