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Edited by on November 9 2011 at 5:49 PM

Mariah Carey, god bless you. Always willing to take the diva schtick to levels even Diana Ross would look at twice before saying, “Really, tranny?,” Mimi is emancipated once again — though this time it’s from that tank she was huffing around in during her 23-month pregnancy. After losing 70 lbs — 40 in water weight during the first week, the other 30 using Jenny (née Craig) — the first thing the songbird did was strip down and whip out her best late-90s hoochie for a new commercial. And she didn’t even have to resort to any completely obvious camera trickery — key words being “completely obvious.”

And what would a dramatic weight-loss story be without a cover of Us Weekly? Bam! And what would a comeback be without an inspiring song to shove down people’s throats (and just in time for the holidays, whaddya know?)

Boom! Mimi’s recorded a new track, “Make It Happen,” not to be confused with her old “Make It Happen,” which I still dust off and jam to when the occasion strikes me. The new “MIT” will appear in Mariah’s new Jenny ads, since she’s signed on as their latest spokesman.

Congrats, Mariah! Now, you can focus on mounting a proper comeback to support your family because I think we all know Nick Cannon‘s paper route isn’t going to pay the bills. [iVillage]

 

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Story by Lester Brathwaite

I was center square from 1969 to 1978, during which I perfected the art of the zing as well as a crippling cocaine addiction. Bea Arthur was responsible for both. @LesFabian lester at fashionindie.com