Edited by Lester Brathwaite on
Picture it. Sicily. Jail. Imprisoned mobsters in Palermo’s Ucciardone prison are too fly and the new governor Rita Barbera is straight up playa hatin’. Barbera is imposing a new prison order by banning the stylish mobsters from wearing luxury brands such as Prada, Gucci, Valentino, Versace, Louis Vuitton and Armani.
“The popular image of this jail is linked to the silk suits of godfathers and we need to cancel that image,” says Governor Barbera. But Barbera is an equal opportunity killjoy; in addition to the finer threads in life, she has banned Nike and Adidas. ”We need to cancel class differences and the showing off of status, power and wealth,” she emphasized.
The mob wives, for their part, are taking it as calmly as can be expected. “My husband will be left naked,” remarked one wife. ”He only has designer clothes, and that’s not because he’s flashy but because they last much longer and are better quality. Why humiliate him? Why force us to buy clothes at street markets?” She then tipped over a table, threw her drink in someone’s (anyone’s) face and lunged after the governor’s neck screaming about said naked husband.
The Ucciardone prison, known to inmates as “The Grand Hotel,” has been witness to mobsters holding lobster and champagne birthday banquets as well as a formal wedding in the prison chapel.
Why deny the sacred — and stunning — tradition of mobsters openly flaunting the law and looking great while doing it? I wouldn’t be surprised if Governor Rita Barbera wakes up next to Raquel Zimmermann‘s head one day. [Guardian]