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by on May 9, 2011

- Our little girl’s all grown up! Supermodel and high school senior Karlie Kloss went to her prom with this adorable little cherub, childhood friend Gabe Smith, who at 5’6 is half a foot shorter than her. Gabe, ever the gentleman, insisted on buying Karlie’s ticket and chauffeured them to the prom and in return he gets to flaunt to his friends for the rest of his life that he went to prom with a supermodel. Sidebar, I’m glad that even at prom that girl is at work. [STL Today

MUSE OF THE WORLD: Karlie Goes to Prom, Whitney Goes Back to Rehab and Beiber Got Bratty

- Porno producer Steven Hirsch was so taken with Pippa Middleton at the Royal Wedding that he's offered her $5 mil to appear in "just one explicit scene." After "racy photos" of Pip in nothing but a bra and panties surfaced, Hirsch was inspired to write a letter to the Duchess of Cambridge's younger, spotlight-stealing sister. Short but sweet -- if "sweet" means kind of douchebaggy  -- Hirsch also offered James Middleton (whose own scandalous pictures also leaked recently) $1 mil if she "would like to bring [him] along.” But hey, Hirsch is a class-act! There will be no royal incest on his watch because that mil is for a “separate scene.” [TMZ]

- Whitney Houston has apparently fallen off the wagon yet again — and knowing Whit she probably hit a few other wagons on the way down. The legendary singer has entered rehab for a third time for drug and alcohol treatment. My heart is breaking so, clearly I need to ask you, Whitney, where do broken hearts go? [People]

- Stefano Gabbana apparently leaked Penelope Cruz‘s Vogue cover on his Tumblr after receiving an advanced copy with the Oscar winner in a Dolce & Gabbana dress. Then Anna Wintour swooped down from on high, shut down the internet and removed said leaked cover from said Tumblr. Gabbana was later found quivering in the fetal position, clutching a piece of lace under the soothing spritz of his shower. [Styleite]

- Looks like someone’s been bitten by the diva bug. Pint-sized popper Justin Beiber was a brat while on the set of CSI filming his multi-episode stint, according to co-star Marg Helgenberger. Speaking on a French radio show, Helgenberger remarked: ”I probably shouldn’t say this, but he was kind of a brat….He locked one of the producers in a closet…and he put his fist through a cake that was on the craft services table.” Bieber, never one to sit back while his good name is dragged through the mud of network television responded like only an adult could — via Twitter: “It’s kinda lame when someone you met briefly and never worked with comments on you. I will continue to wish them luck and be kind.” Which basically translates to, “I don’t know or care who you are but I could buy you.” [Refinery29]

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Contributed by Lester Brathwaite

I was center square from 1969 to 1978, during which I perfected the art of the zing as well as a crippling cocaine addiction. Bea Arthur was responsible for both. @LesFabian lester dot brathwaite at gmail

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