RSSAll Entries Tagged With: "Ghetto"

How To Look Ghetto: Glue On That Acrylic Nail

Call them whatever you want, , fake nails, long nails..their the ultimate “how to look ” accessory. Though its nice to have long nails there is no need to have extensions from your fingertips that around your coke can. If you’re holding your fingers five inches away from the keyboard when you type there is seriously something wrong; make the necessary adjustments.

Now let’s get serious here. Not only are the nails extremely trashy and gross, daily procedures will eventually seem impossible to accomplish. Try taking out the trash only to find those creatures poking holes in the garbage bag. How do you zipper your pants and wipe your crotch or ass when you go to the bathroom? There are just too many issues.

BoringSeen BetterOkayGood StuffDa Bomb Diggety (1 votes, average: 5 out of 5)
Loading ... Loading ...

0 Comments | No Comments | Add a Comment

How to be Ghetto: Bling Out Cabbage Patch…Kid

So, Rebecca asked me to write about this cause of my impeccable knowledge of the . I constantly try to remind her that just cause I grew up in the Bronx, doesn’t make me any better of an expert on what’s good in the hood. Yes, it’s true, the red haired baby that looks like the bastard child of Ronald McDonald and some hood rat named Shaniqueezie bears a striking resemblance to my incarcerated brother and it is true that I’ve seen my fair share of blinged out pacifiers on Fordham Road, but that’s no reason to give me this assignment, right?

BoringSeen BetterOkayGood StuffDa Bomb Diggety (2 votes, average: 2.5 out of 5)
Loading ... Loading ...

2 Comments | Show Comments | Add a Comment

How To Look Ghetto: Rap About Not Wearing Tight Clothes

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pABR7CoM5uA&[/youtube]

So the war between hip hoppers who wear baggy jeans and those who wear tight jeans has begun. Really!?! Is this how pathetic hip hop has become. There was a time that battles we’re fought over police brutality and drug blocks, now it’s all about fashion.

In the video above, gang violence is advocated as a way to handle tight jeans in your neighborhood. The following disclaimer hits the video before some Soulja Boy wannabes lay down weak rhymes over an annoying repetitive hook.

WARNING: Wearing tight clothes by men may result in feminine tendencies, homosexuality, possible yeast infection, severe hemmorrhoids [sic], permanent wedgies, & genetically inherited transexual [sic] characteristics in your son.

All those things sound way better than the poor grammar and spelling you’d genetically inherit if you dressed like a late nineties gang banger.  Seriously, though the yeast infection part is pretty funny.

Listen, you fucking baggy jeans wearing homos on the downlow. Wearing tight jeans doesn’t make you gay, but wearing jeans to your ankles does. Everyone knows (a.k.a. non- people) where the sag came from. It was a prison ritual to determine who was a bitch.  So if you wear saggy jeans and showcase your fresh draws that makes you the bitch you ignant.

On the flip side, wearing tight jeans that squeeze your nuts to the point that I have to wonder whether or not you have a dick is also not cool. So everyone, just by a pair of jeans that fit.

Also, does the tight clothes thing apply to females as well?  Cause there are way to many girls out there who have no reason to be rocking XSmall tees over XXL fat rolls. Can you make a for ladies as well?  Some of us are trying to keep our breakfast down.

Update: The rappers are from Brooklyn. Wonder if they want to do Fashion Indie Week Brooklyn?

BoringSeen BetterOkayGood StuffDa Bomb Diggety (No Ratings Yet)
Loading ... Loading ...

2 Comments | Show Comments | Add a Comment

How To Look Trailer: Cover Your Nails With Food

Wow, not only are these atrociously long fake glued on nails, they have real food on them (according to the site where I got this image, read below). Yes, a little creepy, and very white trash. Also, why are we BBQing Adidas sneakers on a non lit grill?

“So you know we had to hook up some finger lick’n nails…all the necessities for your ‘Q: Hot Dogs, Chips ‘n Dip (please believe those are real chips and French onion dip, we certainly don’t play, especially when it comes to nails…and food!), Drank, Hamburger on a Sesame seed bun, and some watermelon!”

So basically, the lovers of Middle America have figured out how to one up the Fat-ulous of NYC.  Be afraid, be very afraid and a little hungry.  These nails are finger licking bad.

BoringSeen BetterOkayGood StuffDa Bomb Diggety (No Ratings Yet)
Loading ... Loading ...

1 Comments | Show Comments | Add a Comment

How To Look Ghetto: Hang with Kanye

j

Kanye needs to keep his buddies in check. We understand where you come from, there is no need to advertise it. If you’re going to rep for the hood, there is no need to be so blatantly obvious about it. “Hood Love.” Okay, we understand; you’re , you love the hood.

I’m not sure what this guy has on his head, but it looks like he cut the head off a poncho and decided to add a matching hat and be a poster child for MGM. Buddy, you have to chose what you’re repping for. You have way too much going on here.

We need to have a talk about the grills. In case no one told you, the grills are not attractive and we can understand you’re without them. They look painful and quite honestly it hurts to look at the wearer. The grills do absolutely nothing, except expose teeth that look as if they have undergone countless cavities. If you won’t do it for yourself, do it for us; get rid of them.

The only thing that may impress the public about this guy is that he’s not wearing Kanye’s famous glasses. It’s the only thing saving him from suicide.

BoringSeen BetterOkayGood StuffDa Bomb Diggety (1 votes, average: 1 out of 5)
Loading ... Loading ...

5 Comments | Show Comments | Add a Comment

How To Look: Ghetto

In a recent trip from New York City to Boston, I stopped at a and have recently become a born again fan. However despite the fact that I love the greasy death trap that is , I would never be caught dead branding my ass with two golden arches. The only one who should own and wear these pants woud be fab Ronald McDonald. What is fashionable about a store that boasts about their dollar menu? Please pardon my ignorance while I objectify the entire community. Every rapper raps about money, hoes, cars and drugs. They are all ballers and they love expensive booze and food. So what is and cool about pants? You are more or less wearing a banner that says I am broke and l love showering my face in fryer grease, but if you get in my half broken down 1985 Honda I can spit a dope freestyle or two. If your going to make fast food fashionable go all out and start dressing like .

BoringSeen BetterOkayGood StuffDa Bomb Diggety (No Ratings Yet)
Loading ... Loading ...

6 Comments | Show Comments | Add a Comment