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Uncategorized / December 12 2008 4:46 PM

I’m Over It: Fur Hooded Jackets

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Im Over It: Fur Hooded Jackets

There is something about fur on guys that never really looks right, and I think that unless it’s a rare occasion men in general shouldn’t be wearing fur. So when it comes to fur rimmed hoods I am beginning to form a deep hatred for the fashion statement. First and foremost the fur doesn’t even keep you warm, and to top it off 99% of the jackets with a fur rimmed hood aren’t even real fur. I think that the only appropriate time to wear a jacket like this is if you are performing in some sort of dog sled race or if you’re skiing, other than that there is no need for fur. I don’t think I need to continue my rant, but this is a trend that needs to just die.

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Uncategorized / December 3 2008 11:28 AM

I’m Over it: Head Gear

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Im Over it: Head Gear

Im Over it: Head Gear

You know what really upsets me? People who take an awesome new trend and shit all over it. I was wearing headbands before the hippie wannabes came along, and now everyone in Ugg boots and their grandmothers have them. Remember owl necklaces? I got the coolest one at an old lady thrift store four years ago and wore it all the time. That is until they were mass produced, and I wished for a real one to eat my eyeballs.

…And now they are crapping all over hair pieces. What the hell were these ladies thinking with the hats? I feel the need to grab my knickers from the back of my closet, hire some backup dancers and perform “Yankee Doodle Dandy” in historic colonial Williamsburg, VA. Don’t get me wrong, I love hats. And I love feathers on hats. But turning a cute trend into a “Pirates of the Caribbean” remix is uncalled for.

Thanks Fabulousness

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Uncategorized / November 24 2008 9:03 AM

I’m Over It: The Economy

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Im Over It: The Economy

Yeah, That's What's Happening...

I’m totally over this economy. Honestly it’s very taxing on me. Not only as a journalist who is required to write about the latest in fashion (not easy to do when the only news is bad news) but also as a business man who is in the process of creating a fashion empire that will rival Vogue. Now thinking that the current financial situation might make such mainstays tumble freaks me the fuck out and makes me wish for a better outcome than what’s undoubtingly going to happen.

To say we’re going to be affected is an understatement. This is going to rock the fashion world. Even the most posh designers and editors are going to shit their pants when this is all said and done. Fashion week will be the first showing of how effected the industry will be. You’ll have designers who just won’t show up to the party and some that will cut costs by showcasing videos or staging presentations with manaquins and then all these models will have reason not to eat, lack of income.

I’m one for oppulence. I live to talk about out of reason fashions and $15,000 Louis Vuitton luggage sets. I can’t take another second of this economy another minute in which my old designer friend calls me up to call it quits. I hope this passes quickly cause once you’ve donated your life to parties featuring rock stars and coked out trust funders it’s hard to turn back. So basically start spending cash again quick and be sure to buy local, I have a couple of buddies who have to fund their thread groupies drug addictions.

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Uncategorized / November 5 2008 6:40 PM

How Big Is Too Big?

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How Big Is Too Big? Ok you sickos, get your minds out of the gutter! Fashionista beat me to the punch, but this topic has been on my mind for quite some time now…how big is too big? It seems like the Olsen twins pioneered the whole big n’ baggy look with their oversized plaid, sweaters, blazers and tees. Sure, they’re comfortable, roomy and oftentimes hide body flaws, but oversized garments are not flattering. Clothes are meant to fit, at least in some respect. If you’re out and about in a XXL sweater, the sleeves devouring your short arms and the body, more like a dress than anything else, people are going to peg it as a hand-me-down, a thrift-store buy or a means to hide the bun in the oven.  Yes, some clothes are designed to be oversized, but at least those that are well-made fit in the shoulders, are the proper length for your arms and don’t drown out your bust. 

And if swimming in excess fabric weren’t bad enough, swimming in excess designer fabric is worse! Ok, cool, you’ve got a $800 Zac Posen blazer, but who in their right mind would make such an investment on a size 10 if you wear a size 2! The Olsen twins may have the money to throw around for their XL attire, but at the end of the day, fitted is more professional, more elegant and more chic! So, go give that 3XL tee of yours to that homeless family to sleep in. 

 

 

Thanks Fashionista!

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Uncategorized / October 30 2008 4:04 PM

I’m Over It: Hervé Léger Bandage Dresses

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Im Over It: Hervé Léger Bandage DressesIm Over It: Hervé Léger Bandage DressesThe minute Max Azria, fashion designer and founder of BCBG, decided to reinvent the Hervé Léger bandage dress, he gave women everywhere the biggest excuse to hide their flaws and still look like a goddess. It didn’t matter if you had love handles, a little chub around the middle or saggy boobs, the Hervé Léger bandage dress could suck you in, prop you up and give you that perfect figure. Now, I’m not saying that women with a little extra meat on their bones shouldn’t look slim and stunning when they go out, I’m just saying that the Hervé Léger bandage dress is everywhere, and it has to go. I am so sick of seeing these bands of fabric wrapped around women, sucking in every last bit, until they look like the sickly 2006 version of Lindsay Lohan. And to make matters worse, it is annoying to see women with knockout bodies and amazing style (aka Victoria Beckham) wear something so common and completely not necessary for their body type. Please ladies, save the bandages for the boo boos or the Spring 2009 mummy trend.

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Mens / October 18 2008 8:45 AM

I Hate Nappers

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I Hate Nappers
I Hate Nappers

Their rhymes are weak. Their style sucks. And they can’t dance for shit.

Why are they becoming popular?

Oh, yeah cause people are fucking stupid and easily fall for a gimmick.

The Jazzy Jeff/Pre-Million Dollar Movie Deal Will Smith look was never cool. These guys haven’t even attempted to make the look interesting by updating it. It looks like they just watched a full season of the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air and photocopied everything they saw. You’re not the new hipster, you’re not even close to being a blipster and I refuse to consider your shitty attempt to rehash the 90′s it’s own style category other than Napper (Nerd + Rapper = Nappers) because you are seriously putting us all to sleep. What’s so annoying is that this was purposely started. I’m sure it was a conversation at some Billyburg Salvation Army that got these boys talking about wearing 90′s retro wear and now they’re doing it and stinking up the streets with their visual vomit endouching style.

I’m starting to miss the good old days of rap, when cocaine and heroine dealers like Jay Z and Biggie Smalls ran the streets of Brooklyn. Now with all the white kids moving in we get vanilla flavored attempt at gansta.

So let it be known far and wide. The Retro Kids = Nappers. Kids that dress like they tripped into Kid n Play’s closet = Nappers. The Fresh Prince’s of Brooklyn = Nappers.

And I fucking hate Nappers.

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Uncategorized / October 14 2008 2:28 PM

I’m Over It: Female British Comedy Duos with Zany Fashion Sense

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Im Over It: Female British Comedy Duos with Zany Fashion Sense

Im Over It: Female British Comedy Duos with Zany Fashion Sense

I keep seeing images of Selma Blair and Molly Shannon from their new series Kath & Kim.  I’ve never found Selma Blair interesting, but I was excited when I heard Patricia Field was doing wardrobe for a new show — until I saw the pictures. I haven’t seen it or its British counterpart, nor do I plan to.  

I get it, they’re dysfunctional, quirky, zany, kooky, suburban, etc.  

Generally I LOVE British comedies.  But this seems like Absolutely Fabulous all over again.  I tried to like the show.  Really.  I’m sure someone will freak out when they read this.  I’ll give it another chance, though; it’s been a few years.  Maybe I was too young to “get” it.  But I remember the clothes.  I guess I can get all the skanky irony and humor of wearing such outfits.  But … I just can’t get behind this.  It’s all a little played out, and I prefer creativity over kitschy.  

P.S.  Did Kath & Kim even make it past its first episode?

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Uncategorized / October 9 2008 1:49 PM

I’m Over It: Tramp Stamps

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Im Over It: Tramp Stamps

“Might as well be a bullseye.” The quote was made popular by hilarious movie Wedding Crashers, but this terrible tattoo location has been popular for far too long. If you’re not positive of the exact definition of a tramp stamp, allow me to enlighten you with my own take on the phrase:

Im Over It: Tramp Stamps

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1.) It must be placed on the lower back. The middle of the tattoo hits the spine, and the rest usually fits between the love handles.

Im Over It: Tramp Stamps

2.) The tattoo’s design frequently has no intelligent meaning. It’s mostly a gross object (heart, butterfly, fairy etc.) placed in the middle of two lines of scribble.

Im Over It: Tramp Stamps

At times, the tattoo is not done well. This is caused by the snowball effect: the artist thinks it’s ridiculous, is laughing uncontrollably and, in turn, probably has a shaky hand.

Im Over It: Tramp Stamps

Tramp stamps are the tattoo equivalent to MTV’s spring break in Cancun. You did it when you were young, stupid and severely intoxicated. But what to think when you see a middle-aged man driving a car with a holographic pink tramp stamp on the bumper? Is it a mid-life crisis or the castration of a pushover dad on his daughter’s 16 birthday? Why don’t you be the judge; I am too over it to think.

Thanks to Caitlin Prarat’s Canon 40D for the epic car photo

http://caitlinprarat.synthasite.com/

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