An Absent Katy Perry Wins 5 People’s Choice Awards Proving People Shouldn’t Be Allowed to Have Choices or Awards
Edited by Lester Brathwaite
Let’s get this over with. Well, the People’s Choice Awards – or as I like to call it, “Wait, who’s that on the stage?” – were last night and Katy Perry cleaned house, winning five of the coveted (?) awards, including Favorite Female Artist, Favorite Song of the Year for “E.T.”, Favorite Music Video for “Last Night (T.G.I.F.)” and interestingly enough, Favorite TV Guest Star for her stint on How I Met Your Mother. Too bad she didn’t bother to show up. But as we all know, the People’s Choice Awards are on par with the Grammys in terms of relevance and on par with a moderately lavish bar mitzvah in terms of its ability to draw celebrities. Other big winners included Emma Stone, who was actually present to accept her awards for Favorite Movie Actress and Favorite Comedic Movie Actress and Demi Lovato who beat out pop heavyweights Beyoncé, Lady Gaga, Rihanna and Perry to win Favorite Pop Artist. Full, unnecessarily long list of winners after the jump.