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Uncategorized / January 8 2009 3:00 PM

Lauren Conrad to Give Away Dresses In McDonald’s Happy Meals?

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Lauren Conrad to Give Away Dresses In McDonalds Happy Meals?An exaggeration, I know, but if I were ever to come across one of Lauren Conrad’s hideous dresses in my Happy Meal, I wouldn’t be so happy. I would probably wipe my greasy, sweet-and-sour sauced fingers on it, crumple it up and toss it out with my soggy french fries. After realizing that Conrad’s site is up to 70% off items, there is no doubt that the girl is having a tough time selling her line. I hate to say I told you so, but there was absolutely no way  that her god-awful designs at such high prices would sell in today’s market. Now, there is no word if Conrad’s line is on its way out, but things aren’t looking good for the “designer” (cough). If you’re looking for a new car shammy, Lauren Conrad’s website might be the one to check out. 

 

Read it and weep. Or in my case, bake a cake. Check out the pathetic sale here.

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Uncategorized / December 16 2008 12:42 PM

The Good. The Bag. And The Ugly: D&G Grand Opening In LA

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The Good. The Bag. And The Ugly: D&G Grand Opening In LA

The Good: Rachel Bilson

The Good. The Bag. And The Ugly: D&G Grand Opening In LA

The Good: Paris Hilton

The Good. The Bag. And The Ugly: D&G Grand Opening In LA

The Good: Nicole Richie

 

 Dolce & Gabbana had a little get together to celebrate the opening of their new flagship store in Los Angeles last night. The event was packed with stars, so of course we had to congratulate a few, and bash the others. The well dressed celebs this time, Nicole Richie, Paris Hilton (miracle I know) and Rachel Bilson. Rachel Bilson was a no brainer, the blue sequined D&G blazer looked great, and I was impressed that she even knew to get one that was a bit longer too! This was a shocker for me as well, but Paris Hilton looked good last night (with the exception of her wonky eye and stupid facial expression). I liked the prins and cut of the dress, and she even spiced (or slutted) it up with some fish-nets. Nicole Richie looked cute as usual, now if she could only get rid of her d-bag boyfriend/husband or whatever. She rocked the high waisted look very well, and I am intrigued by her little eyeball bag.

The Good. The Bag. And The Ugly: D&G Grand Opening In LA

The Bad: Lauren Conrad

The Good. The Bag. And The Ugly: D&G Grand Opening In LA

The Bad: Rumor Willis

This weeks bads, Rumor Willis, her chin and Lauren Conrad. Lauren Conrad is just boring. She is completely monotoned, with no changes in fabric textures. On top of all of this she’s rocking the bow still? I thought we all agreed that we were more or less done with the bow, especially a very boring one. Rumor Willis wore a dress that I don’t think looks too bad, but then her face had to go and ruin it for everyone. I don’t necessarily think the hair color goes well with the dress pattern and her skin tone. She’s getting better though, 2009 is right around the corner.

The Good. The Bag. And The Ugly: D&G Grand Opening In LA

The Ugly: Nicky Hilton

The Good. The Bag. And The Ugly: D&G Grand Opening In LA

The Ugly: Ginnifer Goodwin

The Good. The Bag. And The Ugly: D&G Grand Opening In LA

The Ugly: Zoe Saldana

This weeks uglies definitely aren’t the worst we have ever seen, but they are by no means good either. Nicky Hilton decided to show up in her night gown. The dress she wore lacked a chest, a silhouette and color. I guess this is what happens when you are living a life in the shadow of your whoring sister, get out there and suck some dick Nicky, then you can get yourself the good stuff! Ginnifer Goodwin still has me confused as to whether that is jewelry or a detail on her dress, either way if we could figure out a way to make that go away that would be awesome. And last but not least, Zoe Saldana showed up in the worlds smallest quilt that her grandmother made her. 

Thanks Fabulousness for the images

 

 

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Uncategorized / December 4 2008 2:54 PM

From The Hills to The City, This Land Was Made For Divas And Snobs

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It looks like Whitney Port is packing up her bikini and taking to the streets of New York with her new spinoff of The Hills produced by MTV. The City, despite the fact that it is a spinoff, looks pretty serious to me. Crying models, backstabbing boyfriends, jealous acquaintances and workplace scandals are just some of the things the teaser shows will go down in the Big Apple. NY Mag made a pretty solid prediction as to what is going to happen by the looks of the trailer. If they are correct, it looks like I can graduate from the overdramatic Gossip Girl and start laughing my butt off at the ridiculous drama and seditious characters of The City…as long as Lauren Conrad’s ugly dresses aren’t worn on screen…

We don’t have an exact date for the premier of this show, but MTV claims The City will air sometime in the spring. In the meantime, I would love to see Comedy Central do a spinoff of their own called The Mountains: Spencer dies in a freak snowmobile accident, leaving Heidi stranded alone in a desolate log cabin without internet for online shopping. Whitney begins designing winter coats but Lauren refuses to do her PR work because she is too busy designing hideous dresses of her own. Audrina quits work at Epic Records and begins work as a zamboni driver at the local ice-skating rink, leaving her too poor to afford rent with Lauren. Then all the girls go on an epic journey to rescue Heidi but are killed in an avalanche. Now Heidi must fend for herself until the Teen Vogue comes to the rescue! Can she do it? Stay tuned. 

 

Thanks US Magazine!

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Uncategorized / November 17 2008 4:15 PM

Wear Lauren Conrad? Sorry, I’d Rather Be Hazed.

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Wear Lauren Conrad? Sorry, Id Rather Be Hazed. A few weeks ago I reported in Desperation 101 that Lauren Conrad would be on a national tour to market her clothing line. As expected, it was the the sorority girls flaunting their Ugg boots, North Face jackets, straightened blonde hair, black leggings, Juicy Couture sweatsuits and gem encrusted Bebe tees that ransacked the audience. Apparently the campaign went over well, but it went over well with a crowd that doesn’t know fashion from the other 20 girls sporting their beer stained Sigma Gamma Lambda Kappa Delta Pi Epsilon sweatshirts with dried vomit in their hair.  

Some girl from Northeastern University said ”Wearing her clothing line tonight was really an honor.” Well, apparently this girl was flattered that she was one of the many cotton dress wearing, cheap black belted, frontal hair poofed models. Good job Conrad, you gave daddy’s little girl 5 minutes of fame other than when she gets voted make-out slut at Saturday night frat parties. 

Another spectator at the show said ”A cotton dress for $200 is overpriced, just because of the name that’s on it? Come on. But, I mean, I would totally buy it, just because it’s a Lauren Conrad dress, I totally would.” Excellent, another label whore. Totally kill yourself. Totally. 

 

Thanks NY Mag!

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FASHION / October 31 2008 2:21 PM

Desperation 101

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Desperation 101Lauren Conrad probably has a hit-man after me, but I cannot help point out her pathetic attempts at fashion design and promotion. Well, this time, Conrad had me laughing quite a bit. Apparently, Conrad will be brining her designs to college students everywhere with “The Lauren Conrad College Tour.” Wow, so are sales doing that badly that she actually has to bring her awful designs to students and beg them to wear it. Visiting schools like Georgia State, Georgia Tech, University of Texas at Austin, University of Minnesota, Brandeis and BU, Conrad hopes to target young sorority girls. Hmm, maybe Conrad would break some ground if she actually targeted fashionable schools like WWD’s top vote, New York University. Sorry, but this plan is absolutely pathetic…you couldn’t get me to attend one of these fashion shows even if I got school credit for it!

 

 

Thanks Fashionista!

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FASHION / October 16 2008 4:52 PM

Lauren Conrad for Walmart!

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Lauren Conrad for Walmart! Lauren Conrad for Walmart! Lauren Conrad for Walmart! Lauren Conrad for Walmart!

Okay, Okay, so I should probably stop this rumor before it goes any further, but Lauren Conrad’s collection, as showed during Los Angeles Fashion Week, was probably only Walmart worthy. Actually, I think I’ve seen more fashionable things at Walmart than what this sorry excuse for a fashion designer threw on the runway last week. Craftsmanship was shoddy. Designs were boring. Collared and belted dresses went out of style before they were even in style. I guess the only compliment I can give the poor girl is that they styling was decent. Please Lauren Conrad, give it up already. Please. 

 

 

 

 

Thanks Jezebel!

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