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Edited by on October 21 2010 at 10:29 AM

Once upon a time, hottie/alleged actress Jessica Alba vowed she would never do a nude scene. However, if you went to theaters and saw Machete, or saw it on bootleg DVD like I did, you might have thought your eyes were playing tricks on you.

The Revolutionary Non Outfit for TodayTurns out, Alba kept to her word, and the above image shows that her bra and panties in the original cut of the film were digitally removed for its release.

And also a a few lbs were shaved off around her midsection too.

Welcome to the future of hypocrisy! What difference does it make if Alba’s actually nakey or not? Guys (and some ladies) will still whack off to it, regardless.

Meanwhile, I can’t wait for this technology to come to real life so I can walk down the street and Photoshop clothes off anyone I choose. That will be a magical day.

Story by Lester Brathwaite

I was center square from 1969 to 1978, during which I perfected the art of the zing as well as a crippling cocaine addiction. Bea Arthur was responsible for both. @LesFabian lester at fashionindie.com