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Edited by on April 25 2011 at 12:52 PM

Though the Royal Wedding guest list has officially been announced, future Princess of Wales, Kate Middleton, drummed up a list of her own that unfortunately did not meet the approval of The Queen. The following is that very guest list.*

*The Queen, it should be noted, is a huge SATC fan, though. She’s a total Samantha.

- Flavor Flav, he always said he wanted to wear Big Ben as a necklace

The Secret Unpublished Guest List of Kate Middleton

- Michelle Obama, at least one of us will be wearing McQueen

The Secret Unpublished Guest List of Kate Middleton

- Cher, I really want to gay this wedding up and Elton John‘s been slacking lately

The Secret Unpublished Guest List of Kate Middleton

- Sean Penn, I have a thing for Madonna‘s exes

The Secret Unpublished Guest List of Kate Middleton

- Muammar Gaddafi, too soon?

The Secret Unpublished Guest List of Kate Middleton

- Lady Gaga, only so she can see what it feels like not being the center of attention

The Secret Unpublished Guest List of Kate Middleton

- Naomi Campbell, I already added blood diamonds to the bridal registry

The Secret Unpublished Guest List of Kate Middleton

- The girls of Sex and the City, I wonder if they can write me into the third movie

The Secret Unpublished Guest List of Kate Middleton

- Fergie, the one from the Black Eyed Peas

The Secret Unpublished Guest List of Kate Middleton

- And since I was a wee Kate, I’ve wanted The Spice Girls at my wedding!¬†¬†Except Posh, I never really cared for her…

The Secret Unpublished Guest List of Kate Middleton

 

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Story by Lester Brathwaite

I was center square from 1969 to 1978, during which I perfected the art of the zing as well as a crippling cocaine addiction. Bea Arthur was responsible for both. @LesFabian lester dot brathwaite at gmail

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