The Swarm: Donwill

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NE Donwill Swarm 071910 The Swarm: Donwill

You may know him as a hypnotic performer who rocks the crowd as well as he rocks the mic. Solo and with hip-hop trio Tanya Morgan. But did you know that he’s a love doctor too? In his debut column for the Swarm, the Cincinnati born expounds on love, lust and the power of the… We’ll leave it to you ladies to finish that sentence. See Donwill’s interesting take on men vs. women, below.

A well-done fling is, indeed, a beautiful thing… when done safely and in context, that is. And while it is largely believed to be a man’s thing to do, I think we need to reevaluate that just a bit. The real decision maker in this equation is the woman’s desire.

By no means am I an expert on the subject; while I have had my trysts they have been very few and far between. Besides, I’m not the ‘hollering at chicks’ kinda dude, I’m more deliberate in my advances, but that’s a whole other topic.

For the most part it’s universally understood that women control sex. ‘Game’ doesn’t really work because, for the most part, a woman knows if and when she will give you a shot. Chances are the game we think we are firing off is actually the equivalent of white noise to a woman who already has her mind made up. We can also say that if either party forces themselves upon the other then that’s rape, right? Well in considering this, it must also be considered that we don’t hear of too many men being raped by women. Don’t hold your breath waiting for some guy to cry foul if gang raped by a carload of sauced up gals. That guy will, however, call his homeboys and tell them what an awesome night he had.

I wrote a song about exploring the emotional state that goes into having a one-night stand. Basically, it speaks on the level of confusion that the parties involved may be feeling when they go about doing the deed. A lot of times it’s less about sexual fulfillment and more about having an instant bond with another person. I like to call it the 5-minute relationship. You go from strangers to dating in a few sentences, at drawl-dropping speeds all in hopes of feeling connected to a person for a few hours.

Sex has roots in just wanting a familiar feeling and that’s why most times two people don’t have sex until they are familiar. The funny thing about sexual fulfillment is that It can’t really be achieved unless you know a person in totality, and these instant relationships don’t provide the opportunity to really get to know a person. Sure, you can have an orgasm. But at the end of the day that isn’t really fulfillment, that’s just busting a nut.

Love is a very tricky thing. It’s a feeling that is definitely tangible but comes in many forms. For the purpose of this column, let’s just say that it’s a drug. And if Love is a drug, then a lot of times when you are out of love, you’re just looking for that next high. Following this line of reasoning, waking up the next day to that walk of shame is the equivalent of the high coming down. But when the high is on, there’s nothing like it…

Check out Donwil’s single, “Love Junkie,” below:

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