To Snark or Not To Snark



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Further proof that we are the generation of the asshole.

A cultural trend amongst “youth” is online bodysnarking, in which some douchebag frienemy of yours posts a horrible picture of you on Facebook or their blog and then asks other people to comment on how much of a shitbag you are.  Motherfuckers at FOX and the Wall Street Journal have their panties in a twist over this “new phenomenon” which is apparently hurting people’s self esteem and the hand holding, kumbaya lezies at Gawker owned Jezebel (last time I checked Gawker was all about the snark) have “taken a stand” against body snarking. (also see will not snark a chick, but will snark the shit out of men).

What the fuck people?

Bodysnarking is not a new trend. I’ve been talking about people behind their backs with my friends for years, I just get to share my criticism with a wider audience now. Bitches and assholes rule the world and if your fat, ugly, dumb, smelly, or have the social skills of a rock, someone somewhere has talked shit about you. It’s not because we have low self esteem, it’s not because we hate you, it’s because it’s fun, and deep down you know it is cause at some point you’ve done it to someone fatter, uglier, dumber, smellier, or rockier than you. So don’t get all freaked out when a picture of your cellulite ridden ass hits MySpace, just comment away and make some jokes about yourself. If you can laugh about yourself you will make it too another birthday.

Just remember revenge is a dish best served with a digital camcorder, a Googleable blog, and lots and lots of Final Cut and Photoshop.

So if you are ever snarked, find out who posted the photo/video/sex tape. Befriend them if they aren’t already in your circle. Get them drunk and/or high. And then have some fun. Nothing too serious that will get you arrested, but if you can get them to piss or shit themselves, that’s snarking gold. Then just launch StupidBitchShitsHerPants.com and post a bulletin or evite to your entire high school, college, or office to snark away. Be sure to post daily and have some video. Everyone loves video. If it looks anything like the photo below your on the right track.

To Snark or Not To Snark

In the new digital world it’s survival of the snarkiest. So don’t get caught with your pants down (or wet) and always have your cellphone in hand.




Article by Saynt

I once fondled Anna Wintour inappropriately while dancing at a Met Gala afterparty. Since them I've been banished to the world of online fashion reporting... Read 4577 articles by Saynt
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