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Edited by on June 27 2011 at 1:38 PM

Now that the gays are finally free to marry in New York, Barneys and bridal shops citywide will no doubt be bombarded with registries and hopefully “his and his” gown fittings. But just so happens, as the bill was passed this weekend,  I was attending a gay wedding in Provincetown.

‘Twas a lovely affair and a beautiful moment, made all the lovelier and more beautiful by the wardrobe choices of my dear friends and I, who trekked from our then-questioning state of New York to the brisk, open shores of Massachusetts. So with wedding season upon us and Neil Patrick Harris already planning his pas de bourrée down the aisle, what does one wear to a gay wedding?

What to Wear to a Gay Wedding

For the beach-side wedding of our friends — and Massachusetts residents — Alec and Brooks (seen above with Brooks’ niece), my gaggle of gays and I spread our sequined capes and caught a strong breeze up to Cape Cod.

Ever since those kooky kids got engaged last year, my friends and I have been planning our wedding attire.  It being the first gay wedding for all of us — and judging by the pace of our collective love lives, probably the last — we were excited and eager to don our matrimonial best.

But there was so much to consider:

A.) It’s a gay wedding, so a fair amount of flair is needed and leeway afforded.

B.) It’s a beach wedding, thus requiring a less stuffy sartorial selection and making choice in footwear particularly difficult.

C.) Then there was our natural and uncontrollable propensity to upstage. This wasn’t our wedding, after all — and out of respect of our friends and their family and friends, perhaps a jet-black drop-crotch, bold-shouldered bodysuit was not the most sensible choice.

A year — and several crash diets, a Royal Wedding and many a discarded theme — later, we came together in a romantic and sartorial triumph…which quickly descended into a joyfully weepy mess. The joy was doubly powerful, though, because as Alec and Brooks were exchanging their vows, we were aware that we, too, could follow in their footsteps in our very own state.

And that was a source of immense pride for all of us.

Below are pics of what we finally decided on wearing. There were several shorts, dressed up with blazers and an occasional tie; a lace Rodarte pant that was surprisingly mens; white was a popular choice, jazzed up with a mixed print; and in an ode to Will and Kate‘s nuptials, I wore a fascinator.

I also chose a subtle Oriental fan as an accessory….What can I say, it’s a gay wedding —  sometimes you gotta fan the flamers.


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Story by Lester Brathwaite

I was center square from 1969 to 1978, during which I perfected the art of the zing as well as a crippling cocaine addiction. Bea Arthur was responsible for both. @LesFabian lester at