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by on February 12, 2009

When Satan Photoshops...

Ooooo Aubrey, Giiiiirrrl, You Such A Natural Beauty and Stuff……

When Satan Photoshops...

Today in Never-Ever land, somebody got airbrushed to the Motha McLovin T. The cover says it’s Aubrey but this lump of undefined silicon anime, doin it’s best Jessica Rabbit bit, couldn’t possibly be my sweet little church girl. I guess washing windshields at stop lights or goin to a temp agency to find a position of employment was out of the question. How do you go from multi-platinum girl group to servin up monkey fixins and sexy cakes in Playwhore? This is definitely not successful career planning We here as FashionINDIE frown upon such shady dealins.

Whomever let the little boy play with the photo shop software over there at the magazine needs a good shrapnel facial and a chemical peel with boiled tranny urine………I’m sorry, Extra Virgin Tranny Urine.

She looks like a bedazzled albino turd. It’s like RuPaul had too many of those microwaved pizza roll abominations and 2 hours later, after he calmed down from thinking he was having menstrual cramps, realized it was just a gut bubble, puckered and manured’ out God’s beloved that sits before you. Look at my angel all rouged and ready for a Kodak. DAMAGED indeed! Well I hope she at least got a box of Krispy Kremes out of it. I guess if it was a choice between suckin up to Diddly-Bops douchewater or playin Bingo with Hephner, I’d choose dry humps at the retirement home too. I love you so Aubrey……………..no, real talk, I really love you.

- Z’maji of HauteBlogXOXO

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Contributed by Zmaji Robinson